Kustepe,
<p>I don't know the details of your situation but it seems to me the husband should be putting the well being of his wife above everyone else - family members included. I say that because in my own life I'm paying the price for not putting my wife first and I feel the daily humiliation of her putting me last on the list of things to be concerned about.
<br>I'm sure a difference in cultures can contribute to a problem. I had a friend from the Dominican Republic who married an American woman. In the Dominican Republic they still have attitudes about gender roles that have similarities to America of the 50's. He began to tell me about the clash between his attitudes and those of his wife.
<br>I explained to him that things here have been prety well saturated with sexual liberation, feminism, liscence mistaken for freedom, and so on. The last I heard they were having serious disagreements. I hope they worked them out.
<br>I don't know what exactly the cultural differences are in your case, but whatever the culture I don't think a man should put his wife under anyone else.

I've read someplace that people who have affairs don't generally set out to have them; they just sorta happen and maybe they would not have if the right boundaries were observed.
<p>My question is how should we define "the line"? I am trying to figure out what behavior is within (or not within) the bounds of appropriateness and general acceptability. Are there any rules of thumb regarding this issue? Not everyone agrees on the subject.
<p>The reason I ask is that I'm getting married to someone who spends time socially with other men. She says it's just networking which in itself is fine. But, is it okay to go out to dinner and drinks after work and stay out to nearly midnight with a man she calls a business contact, mentor, and friend in order to discuss "career opportunities?" I thought it was peculiar but hey, what do I know?
<p>Also, is it normal for an attractive 34 year old woman to meet socially (sometimes alone) with a 58 year old divorced male co-worker (another "good friend") from time to time? Call me narrow minded but I find that peculiar too.
<p>So I was wondering if anyone had any comments on what generally accepted limits should be observed by persons in a committed relationship with respect to social interactions with those of the opposite gender. Do's and Don'ts for example. Also, when is it appropriate to ask one's spouse (or spouse-to-be in my case) about the nature of an outside relationship? Can this be done without comming across as suspicious, controlling, or not trusting?
<p>I don't want to be a sucker - but I don't want to be ridiculous about it either.
<p>Thanks in advance to anyone who has thoughts to share!

bill,
<br> lol! but l think my H would probably argue that with you,(about more wives being like me)after all he did have an affair too remember,so l guess l wasn't meeting a need somewhere.
<p>l know that the majority of men in our country are good,decent family men, l just meant the broken homes and single parent households l believe are caused by more men than women.l could be wrong though.
<p>l guess about the talking,that is just the hard part. l know for me,for years l tried to no avail. Even now, l would think he would see if we want to move on we need to start communicating better,but so far l am the only one ever starting it,and he still doesnt seem to be hearing me.....