Bruce,
<br>I am dreading the day that this happens to me. We have many parallels in our issues. I have been thinking a lot about what I would do if/when the situation arises. More often since Sunday when my wife said she needs to go get away for a few days.
<br>You are right in saying that this will bring to light all of the things you do in your household, and relationship. It will also put into perspective the ultimate economical upheaval that would be caused. All of this would only happen if you move out. By having her move, she would have complete freedom to do as she pleased.
<br>It was recommended to me that you try a short period first. Truly temporary. 1 week, maybe 2. Stay in a hotel, and set guidelines for how often, and for how long, you should be home. The idea is not to be there all the time, except sleeping. It's to give her (and you) a chance to think, and breath. I think that a separation of several months would allow her to get used to the fact you are not around.
<br>Try selling her on the idea of the short separation by the economic reasons. Then tell her that the two of you will discuss the longer separation after that.
<br>Mind you, this is only my humble opinion.
<br>Also, If you do go the extended separation route, I would consult a lawyer before hand. If things do come to the outcome we are trying to avoid, you would not want your leaving to be misconstrued as anyting but a breathing period.
<br>Best of luck in your decision. Let us know what you and your wife decide.
<br>

My wife would be quick to give you a resounding NO! in answer to your question. But she would also say, and I agree, that if love does not take the form of treating your spouse the way they should be treated and fulfilling your responsibilities, then it isn't real love.

I will answer this based on what I would do. If I still had any doubt about getting the divorce and I felt that there might be hope from the other person I would try one more time to talk to that person. I definately would go to couseling, but maybe not a pastor this time. A regular counsel that will not be bringing religion into the situation. But I think most importantly be honest. Put aside ALL EGO and be open. If after all that and she deceides not to be with you, then you will have known that you gave it your best shot. I wish you the best.
<br>Carole