I've been married 6 1/2 yrs now. When I married him we were both attending a private Christian university. The joke on campus was that the girls were there to get their MRS. not BS. In a way that is true. Most people thought they could find a like-minded spouse as far as values, morals and beliefs go. I was no different and I thought I had met him when I married my husband.
<br> Shortly after we were married he stopped attending church with me. He also started peppering his talk with profanity (not to be rude, just as a manner of speaking). Most bothersome is his taking of God's name in vain, something I've never done and take complete offense to. I thought, however, that it was just a stage. He needed to separate himself from his family or something. I thought he'd get over it.
<br> We now have two children. Two beautiful children whom would not be here if I hadn't married their daddy. Unfortunately, I can't help but being upset with him and angry. I feel like I was sold a bag of used goods. He knew my beliefs when we married. He knows my value system and how much stock I take in God, church, family, the whole thing. He tells me he doesn't know if he ever believed and is angry at his parents for making him go to church all those years.
<br> He knows how I feel about divorce and is comfortable with the fact that I won't leave him due to my beliefs. I ache for what I thought I was marrying and hurt for the betrayal. I'm the spiritual leader for my children and can't talk to my husband about religion (a very real part of my life). He seems fine with it and doesn't understand why I'm upset.
<br> We are currently going through Dr. Harley's His Needs, Her Needs course at church. My husband is willing to work out our other problems but won't compromise on his 'belief'. I don't know if I can ever love him like I thought I did when I married him. Basically, he is an imposter to what I married. His 'belief' of not tainting the kids' mines with God, faith, etc., is a deterrent to what I try to teach them and what they hear at church.
<br> Am I wrong to want a husband who shares my beliefs? Can I be happy with a man who will probably never do so? Does God intend on me being a martyr for my children and my faith? I'm trying hard to be content with our marriage and be the wife God ordained women to be but why must I sacrifice my happiness? Regardless of what my husband does to meet all my needs I still feel like he has betrayed the biggest one of all. He did so deliberately and that is what hurts most. Will the pain dim and if not, what can I do to be happy?

Jennifer, (my wife's name, also)if there is one thing I'm learning from going through my own marriage difficulties it is that there is no quick fix. Now here you are with a family and feeling like your husband has fooled you.
<br>I find that the sort of crisis that marriage problems being, since they touch the very roots of our hearts, are not only about fixing the marriage but fixing who we are, period. The hardest part for me is in recognizing the fact that my wife, no matter how long we've been together, is still another human being over whom I really have no control. I may have influence but no control. At this point I don't see what else you can do except exert your influence to the fullest extent you can - for good that is. I believe the Scriptures speak of one mate winning the other (the unbelieving mate) through their behavior. I can only speculate as to your husband's reason for shedding what appeared to be his faith after he married you. It leads me to think it wasn't a genuine faith to start with regardless of his actions beforehand. But, I don't know. I already know I can't make my mate do what I like. How much more magnified is this difficulty when we speak of religious beliefs. It seems to me that since, according to the Scriptures, only God can change a heart, your only course is to ask God to do that while you conduct yourself in such a way that your husband can see the godly behavior he is taking so lightly. Perhaps God will use that to bring him to the needed realization. Just some thoughts. Hope things work out. We all need God's help in this forum.

Please be sure that you do not focus on sublle differences in your faith. I know right now the issue is the existence of faith but if you pull together on this please allow your H to establish his own idea of what the Spiritual Leader is in the home, not what you may feel it should be based on past experiences. I know I am premature but I have seen this many times