Chris,<BR>Are you waiting for your w to return ? Has either of you filed for divorce ?<BR>The reason I ask is my w has been gone since 7-2-99 but lives in town with om. Last Wed I finally recieved the divorce proposal they had hinted at for 2 months. On Thurs nite w hinted that maybe we should try joint counseling again with the counselor she and om have been seeing. <BR>My counselor wanted to knonw how that would work when w is in this relationship. Other problems I see are her job, which she says is calling, and her anger. I've asked for the counselors number but she won't give it to me. All her other signs point towards her staying away, she still planning on going on cruise with om in 2-3 weeks, she brought video camera today to tape the kids going off to school and she had never done that before and I'm not sure where the camera came from.<BR>Thru my counseling I've learned what I want and thats a wife dedicated to the family and me and I don't see that with my w.<BR>I guess I want to give her an ultimatium that if she goes on cruise then I'm done. I did tell her I'm done a couple weeks back when she asked to come home and I said yes and then in a couple hours she backtracked on the statement. I know she is having problems now and probably if I just could wait she would come back. <BR>However I'm just not ready for to come back. I would like to see her live alone and take care of her anger problem, get rid of the other guy and do something about her work like leave . Am I being unresonable ? My counselor doesn't seem to think so.

just getting this to the top .

Yeah, I'm waitng for her. She left 17 Feb.<BR>No, neither has filed for divorce. She said she would "eventually", but that is all. She has been living and working with wankboy the entire time.<P>Personally, it sounds to me as if your wife is having problems deciding what she wants. That's a good sign. My wife did the same thing with the video cam (it was om's).<P>If you give her an ultimatum, you must be prepared to accept either outcome. You don't want to be waffling on this, otherwise she may try to play the affair out longer.<P>I don't think you're being unreasonable. But, do you really not want her to come back until she has lived alone and sorted things out? You would like her to do these things, but that doesn't mean she will.<P>If she decides to come home at some time, you need to reach an agreement on terms. A few suggestions.<P>1 - Marriage counseling (Steve Harley is my choice)<BR>2 - No more contact with om.<BR>3 - Total honesty<P><P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A> <BR>

Disregard as your psot showed up. Thanks !<p>[This message has been edited by RWD (edited September 02, 1999).]