Im new to MB and am trying to decide about getting a divorce. My H is involved in cyberaffairs and has we have been emotionally separated for some time. I am tired of the lies and resentment he dumps on me. However, we have two teenagers and a very nice lifestyle together. I would give up everything to know that my H loves me and would be faithful.<BR>I am in the process of filling out papers to file. H has been out of town all week (left angry) and each night that passes without any word seems to underline the fact that his feelings for me are over. I guess I am just too stupid or "dependant" to face the facts.<BR>My question is---What do I have in front of me if I file these papers. I have no proof of the affairs H is a respected member of community (ie: throws company money into the community)and I am sure he will do everything in his power to drag me through the mud in order to give the appearance that it was all my fault.<BR>My children are boys---I am worried about them choosing to live with Dad. He has the money and will likely get the house since I cant afford it on my salary.<BR>Basically, are all the sacrifices worth it, or should I just keep the status quo and let my H do whatever he wants?<BR>

GA,<P>I don't think that living the status quo and letting H do what he wants is a marriage either.<P>I think you may be jumping the gun on the divorce. Do you want to stay married to this man, nnot for the money or status but because you love him and want HIM more than anything else ?<P>Have you posted on the Infidelity and Just Discovered forums ? You also need to read the literature by Harley accompanying this website.<P>In the Infidelity website, a fellow poster NSR, has links to the various areas of information you need to attempt to save your marriage.<P>You are more than welcome to post here, but everyone in this particular forum followed or tried to follow the Marriage Builders(MB) techniques and for what ever reason our marriages still failed.<P>I know in my case it is sometimes hard to post to encourage people to continue to work so hard to save their marriages when mine didn't work out. So I am now more inclined to post here. <P>Don't get me wrong, I am for marriage, but right now I am a little(?) cynical.<P><BR>You will find lots of support at the other forums. Please don't think that I'm trying to run you off. Its just that you will be in company of lots (unfortunetly) of people going through the same thing you are at the same time. We here have already been there and done that.<P>Do come to us if you do have any questions. I just think that you will be bettered suited at the current time at the other sites. We all pray and hope you don't have to join us here.<P>God's Blessings to you!<P>Bob<BR>

Hi GodAlone -<P>Welcome to MB!! You can rest assured that you will find a lot of support here from people who know all about what you have gone through and what is to come.<P>I agree completely with RWD (ooooh, that was soooo good Bob!!!) that you should read up on the MB principles, check out the other Forums and I will go one further and suggest that you give Steve Harley a call - he will guide you along with this mess we are all trying to handle.<P>Best Wishes on this journey and we'll look for your posts and check up on you!!! You are not alone in this anymore and we'll help with the load.<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Is your husband willing to go to counseling with you? My husband also seems to be addicted to the internet chat lines. He also knows, or says, how stupid it was and is right now in the hospital to try to beat this. (My story is on Sheba's post of backgrounds.) At first when I would tell him how dangerous I thought it was, he would laugh it off and say that was silly and where did I get my crazy ideas anyway? Now I think even in his warped state he recognizes how dangerous it is. I also recommend reading everything you can about this website. It has been so good for me.