I miss having somebody to talk to and sleep next to. I also really miss the smell of my husband when I give him a big hug and bury my face in his chest. <P>Do they miss us this much? It sure doesn't seem like it does it?

I agree. While I proceeding through the darkness of a potential divorce, it is the hugs, the kisses, and snuggling that I will miss the most. Maybe it would be easier if we had a real problem forcing this divorce, but our only problem is that than we have grown a million miles apart and my husband likes it where he is.

<BR>I miss my best friend. Making dinner together, talking, then snuggling on the couch watching tv or a movie.<P>I miss talking about the kids to my XH. He was/is the only person that really appreciates every little thing they do/accomplish. <P>I miss my family being whole.<P>Gwen

I guess things got so ugly before the separation, and then again right before the divorce that I really don't miss much... I've been living alone now for almost 8 months, and was basically alone for a month before I moved out (H sleeping in other room, staying out when I was home etc.). <P>I guess I do miss the smell of my X... last night I was out and a guy walked behind me wearing the same cologne my X wears. It did trigger some reactions in me.... more than I expected. Probably because I picked it out for him.<P>Some of the things I <B>don't</B> miss....<BR>Dirty cloths everywhere (especially socks)<BR>Dirty dishes piled in the sink<BR>Being treated like a child<BR>Having to be 100% accessable (not accountable) at all times<BR>not being able to buy the brand of toothpaste I like because something else was cheaper (or anything for that matter)<BR>Always being broke<P>Ok, I could go on forever... so I'll stop now.<P>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

I guess there are PLENTY of things I DON'T miss too!<P>Having to fold his socks "just so"<BR>Being lied to<BR>Mind games<BR>Not feeling good enough<BR>His stupid computer games<BR>etc.....<P>I better stop here too. I could probably go on for hours!<P>TB

I miss belonging to someone. Someone to call my own. Knowing that I am wanted. I miss being a partner. I miss little kisses, little hugs, the way we used to rub noses.<BR>Someone to hold hands with. To talk to and tell everything too. I would love to tell him everything but how can I tell him how much I hurt ect. I miss romantic baths together. I miss SEX (sorry just had to add that) LOL<P>I don't miss his little brown hairs all in the bath tub, in the kitchen, in the food, ect..Ha ha., I married a bear (hair on his head, his back, his chest, his...ooops can't go there) <P>I like being in charge of my own check book. I like reading when I want to read, going to bed when I want to go to bed.<P>But I miss being married, and I hate seeing happy couples, being with happy couples, walking past jewelry stores.<P>I can think of more.....<P>But I am going to take my 15 year old son driving, he has his permit, we are going to put the top down on his convertible (we bought him a used one) and drive around and I am going to try to forget what I miss about his dad.<P>See ya later....<P>

I miss that I no longer have a consistent and reliable source of emotional support. I don't like having to deal with the problems in my life (kids, work, the non-marriage itself, etc.) alone. I don't feel particularly (i.e. intimately) close to anyone, the way you do with a true partner.<P>We've been separated so long that I've adjusted for most of the other deficiencies. I have regular baby-sitting so I can go out and have fun. I have friends and family to meet conversational and recreational needs. Well, there's no sex and that's a bit of a problem too ...

How could I forget sex? That is the WORST!<P> <P>TB

I miss his natural scent the most and the security I only knew when in his arms.

Ok everyone this really stinks we are on this board. I say out with the misery of what we miss and in with the new us.<P>Lets gripe and piss and moan but I think we need not wallow in self-pity.<P><B>WE WILL ALL FIND BETTER MARRIAGES</B><P>We can use all the great tools we learned here to carve out a new life for ourselves. I believe that.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Ok Ok Bill.........<P>You are right, this is a new beginning for us. <P>It is Friday night, I have no date except 4 teenage girls watching a movie, my son sleeping, my other D bothering the teenage daughters and my nephew visiting.<P>But hey, they paid for the pizza.<P>I just paid for the rented movie.....<P>Right now this is where I want to be.....<P>My H is in his fantasy world, but I am having a great time tonight in this one.<P>(I still miss sex though HA HA)

I miss the intimacy. The wonderful things he used to do for me. But most of all I miss the person I was...the strong person, the safe person, the happy person. I want me back most of all.

I miss US together. In every way!<BR>Good, bad, happy, sad. It's better to go through all of these emotions with him, then without him.

I only miss the companionship, but I can get that in other ways. (children, friends, family). And I can find that later if the right man comes along. I am looking forward to dating again but it's still too soon. <P>Mitzi

What I miss most is my faith in marriage and people in general. I've learned a number of things the past year or so:<P>1) After 5,10, 20 yrs of marriage, it all can go up in smoke pretty quick and does at least 50% of the time, or more. A second marriage (or third or more) are even less likely to stay together. <P>2) Some marriages make it through in the long haul, but it seems increasingly rare. I'm convinced that the ones that do stick together do so out of commitment, perseverence, and responsibility, and not because their needs are necessarily being met all of the time.<P>3) Real love is very rare. Most people only stay around as long as their needs are being met, and if you are not perfect at meeting those needs or they find someone who meets them better, then they are out the door.<P>I do know that I will be just fine without my ex. I also know that I will never give anyone that much control over my life or emotions ever again.<P><p>[This message has been edited by TheStudent (edited April 01, 2000).]

I don't miss one goddamn thing. She is a cold heartless *****. She ****ing sucks. <P>Sorry about the language, I needed to vent.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Student, ditto on all the remarks. I probably would have become one of the statistics of being married for life had his mid-life crisis set in. Guess I can consider myself lucky...still hurt, but the lucky one in the end. He's gone elsewhere for his emotional and lusty needs. Wonder how long statistics say that will last?

What do I miss about my 28 year old infidel xh? Not a thing.<P>What do I miss about my 43 year old infidel xh? Not a thing.<P>I miss the me in the pictures, that smiles with brite white teeth and no facial lines and got married at 25. I was so innocent.<P>I miss the me that believed she had found a real man and remarried at 36. I could trust again.<P>I miss the me who would be shocked if her new H had an affair. I'd leave him too, no recovery attempt.

Snuggling and sleeping with my best friend!

I miss having faith in human nature.<P>I miss being able to trust myself to be able to tell good people from evil.<P>I miss having someone to discuss everyday life with, especially the kids. If they achieve some new minor milestone, he is not here to tell about it. If I have a concern about them, I can be fairly sure that if I share it with him he will blame me for it somehow, or at the very least blame me for not handling it differently. <P>I miss having someone to share interests with. I miss having another adult around who is equally passionate about our shared interests.<P>I miss sleeping next to him.<P>What don't I miss - I don't miss his yelling at his computer games. Almost all of his other bad points I am still subjected to.