H called me the other day when I got angry and told him (e-mail) that since HE wanted this D, I no longer was going to continue doing anything to end it. I filed, I did all the paperwork, I tried to smooth the relationship with our children ( for him)<BR>I called creditors, got payoffs you get the picture. <BR>Well when we had a court ordered custody/visitation he not only didn't show but didn't even respond. <BR>I was so mad. That is when I decided NO MORE I am not going to do anything more to end this marriage if he REALLY wants to end it he will have to do the work.<BR>Well he called me, confused...Why was I so mad. When I told him, he said "Why didn't you e-mail me to remind me?" <BR>I did tell him that is what a wife does, remind her H of appt.s NOT an x-wife. <BR>We started talking and he admitted to thinking many times of asking me and our son to join him in his new state.<BR>When I asked why he hadn't his reply was"I don't deserve to be forgiven and have you back in my life". <BR>Ok I've decided that I still am not going to move forward with this D, if he isn't doing anything to help it come about.<BR>I can plan A whenever we talk (on the phone) but do LB when I don't hear from him, or only by e-mail.<BR>Now should I still try to do a plan A/ or just go back to plan B. period?<BR>I know I can't change his mind about how he feels. Can't make him see that it is really my choice to forgive him or not. <BR>Where should I be? I'm reading Love Busters, for myself and any future relationship I may choose to consider.His Needs her Needs too.<BR>As far as I know H hasn't read anything, if he has he's not sharing. He was on this site once that I know of. Maybe he's just a lurker. I feel like I should be in a strong plan B, but then when he does open up I want to be in plan A. Tired of see/sawing back and forth. <BR>Any suggestions?<BR>Tyra<BR>

My suggestion is Plan B. Just my opinion. <P>TB