I picked up a book yesterday called "How to Get Your Lover Back" by a psychiatrist named Blase Harris, M.D. The book is fascinating - I read the entire thing today. Since in the past, some of the ideas he presents have worked for me, I am very pleased with this purchase and intend to use the concepts and techniques in my own shattered marriage.
<p>While he doesn't use the same terminologies that are used here in the Marriage Builders website, many of his concepts are very similar and even the ones which are different really make a lot of sense. I think that there is nothing that conflicts with the Harleys' ideas, except a little in how you treat a lover/spouse who is seeing someone else.
<p>I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is having problems in a relationship that doesn't involve alcohol or drug addiction or physical abuse. It's quick reading, and interesting. The author has used the techniques he described to re-establish his own relationship that had broken up, and counsels his clients to use them as well.
<p>I'll let you know how the concepts work for me ...

Terri,
<p>First thanks for the info on the book. I think It is a good investment. howerver, if my memory serves me correctly, you husband is putting you on the back burner while he goes out with the OW. He has not made any attemps to put your marriage back on track. You can't make him want you. I suggest you read the book and remember all the teqniques that are given to you. However, it takes two ppeople to make a marriage work. I would hate to see you get hurt anu more than you already are. Focus on you and give the marriage a break. That doesn't mean you head for divorce court. It simply means that you are a great deal ahead of your husband in this race to put your marriage back on track, allow him sometime to catch up to where you are so that both of you can arrive at the finish line together. He has to leave the ow altogether to be able to be a good husband to you. Don't accept nothing less.

Terri--
<br>thanks for the info on the book, I will look for it, in the meantime I hav one question. Does it deal with how to get YOURSELF to love your spouse again??? Or will that come in time? I still have worries that I will never be in love with my husband. Some days I can't STAND him and THAT scares me.