I am desperate; I am deeply in love with my wife and I adore my daughters. For 23 years my life revolved around their wants and needs. For the last 17 months I have been cheeting my family. I am asking for a mirricle that my heart be set free from the ow, that my family can forgive me and that the other women will be touched by God in a special way also. I beg you for prayer I do know a mirricle can happen. My wife is a wonderful women I love her deeply .I NEED HELP.

Desprate,<P>I'll pray for you. If I can forgive my future ex-H for his financial misconduct and for abandoning me emotionally and physically, then I believe that if you are honest with your family and sincere in your attempt to reconcile with them, then they will respond positively. The first thing you should do is get tested for any STD's (sexually transmitted diseases). Next, find a counselor who can help you determine why sought out an extramarital affair (nothing just happens) and how you can negotiate a new beginning with your wife. I believe entirely in the theory of The Love Bank. You have to start doing things which make deposits in each of your family member's account. That means that you need to willing to accept their anger and resentment and you need to validate their feelings. <BR>You need to remember that you have to invest in your wife.<P>Your wife must love you at lot or maybe she is desperately afraid of being alone. She probably knows that there have been problems in your relationship for a long time. But it sounds like she stuck by you. Reward her.<P>Good Luck!<P>Karel

Welcome <B>LOST123</B>...<P>It's not clear to me... are you divorced/divorcing?...<BR>In any case... follow the links on the infidelity forums for a starting point... and come back to this forum when needed!<P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P>For some clarity... a while ago... the "main" forum was divided into 4 separate "sub" forums...<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=Just+found+out...&number=29&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>Just found out...</A>...for those new the forum... pre/post "discovery" of an affair or possible affair.<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=Plan+A/Plan+B&number=30&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>Plan A/Plan B</A>...usually after "discovery of the affair"...for those with questions of "what to do now?"<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=In+recovery&number=31&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>In recovery</A>...when a commitment to work on marriage by both spouses has begun.<BR>We are being asked to post the forums that make the most sense with respect to our questions/vents and not just dump everything into the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=General+Questions&number=28&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>General Questions</A> forum because it will give you the most responses! <P>Jim