I decided to put down my thoughts tonite after painting all day or maybe it is the paint fumes! As I sit here and cry into my beer, actually bourbon & water and IM with my d's 12 yo friend, here are my thoughts so far:<P>1)When did it become acceptable for women to talk like drunken sailors ? I can curse with the best of them, but to hear women drop f-bombs everry other word is a big turn off to me!<P><BR>2)Everybody knows what a DINK is, double income ,no kids. I found out I'm a SITCOM, single income, two kids, oppressive mortgage !<P>3)I've lost all trust in my X. Instead of trusting her and explaining the situation, I decided to ignore the divorce orders and not give her our son as a deductible for 1999. Even though we were divorced in 2000, the divorce papers were drawn up in 99 and I missed where we agreed to split the kids as deductions in 99 instead of 2000.<P>As a result of me selling some stock to buy her out of the house I took a big hit on capital gains. With me claiming the kids, I still owe about $600. She owe $32 to the feds and gets $180 back from the state.<P>If she claims our son, I owe $800+ and she gets back $800. So instead of me trusting her and explaining it to her and getting her to agree, I am trying to sneak it by her and hoping she doesn't look that close. I think if I would sit down with her and explain it to her she would probably say no big deal. But because I don't trust that her and think she would say, "Give me that $800," I'm not telling her and hoping for the best. <P>That is a sad statement, I guess on me. Not to trust someone I had a 16+ yr relationship with.<P>4)I've decided to put my social life on hold as <BR>one, I don't seem to have much choice at this point and secondly and most important I don't think I need to put more stress on my kids.<P>My d's friend just said my d gets annoyed at her mother when she has to go over there. The friend also says she gets embarrassed when she is over there.<P>5) I was angry with x because she didn't do anything with the kids this week when they were on vacation. I didn't ask her to either. Maybe I should swallow some pride and when I know I won't be around for the kids, I should remind her to. That seems weird to remind the mother to watch out for her kids, but I guess its something I need to do from now on. After all it's in the best interest of the kids.<P>6)I'm going to have to find a way to deal with om. I stopped to get paint yesterday and guess who was there buying paint for the love nest. I could have got him if I had swerved and taken out the entrance of the store. INstead I drove around the block like i have something to hide.<P>7) The paint store won't add arsenic or any other poisons to paint for others, nor will they add my bill onto theirs.<P><BR>8) I no longer have a pink bedroom!!!!!!! I still working on my bathroom though. Maybe tommorrow!!!!!<P><P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger

Hey Bob,<P>Yeah, those paint fumes made you smarter! <BR>Lot's of good stuff here!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>1)When did it become acceptable for women to talk like drunken sailors ? I can curse with the best of them, but to hear women drop f-bombs everry other word is a big turn off to me!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Ut oh! That's all I have to say!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>2)Everybody knows what a DINK is, double income ,no kids. I found out I'm a SITCOM, single income, two kids, oppressive mortgage !<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Let's see what acronym I can come up with... hmmm... how about this, I'm a Rhomi - rental home on my income. Nah, it's just not as good as yours.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>3)I've lost all trust in my X. Instead of trusting her and explaining the situation, I decided to ignore the divorce orders and not give her our son as a deductible for 1999. Even though we were divorced in 2000, the divorce papers were drawn up in 99 and I missed where we agreed to split the kids as deductions in 99 instead of 2000.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I hope it works, that's all I can say... is she dumb? Don't answer that. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>4)I've decided to put my social life on hold as <BR>one, I don't seem to have much choice at this point and secondly and most important I don't think I need to put more stress on my kids.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Don't agree with you here, you *need* a social life! Get one! Don't hurt your kids for it, of course, but find a social-life-lite then! <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>My d's friend just said my d gets annoyed at her mother when she has to go over there. The friend also says she gets embarrassed when she is over there.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Did I hear you right? You're IMing with a 12 yr. old. Priceless!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>5) I was angry with x because she didn't do anything with the kids this week when they were on vacation. I didn't ask her to either. Maybe I should swallow some pride and when I know I won't be around for the kids, I should remind her to. That seems weird to remind the mother to watch out for her kids, but I guess its something I need to do from now on. After all it's in the best interest of the kids.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yes, it does seem weird.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>6)I'm going to have to find a way to deal with om. I stopped to get paint yesterday and guess who was there buying paint for the love nest. I could have got him if I had swerved and taken out the entrance of the store. INstead I drove around the block like i have something to hide.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>"...swerved and taken out the entrance of the store..." hahahahahahahahahaha<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>7) The paint store won't add arsenic or any other poisons to paint for others, nor will they add my bill onto theirs.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Really, because I have this friend... even mixes the paint with a butcher knife (just for effect you understand!)... I'll see if I can get him on the horn for ya! <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>8) I no longer have a pink bedroom!!!!!!! I still working on my bathroom though. Maybe tommorrow!!!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Now, that's good news!<P>Have a good night, and don't let the bourbon and water get ya!<P>

Sheryl,<P>Thanks! The 12 yo calls me Dad as she is always here so I call her 2 as in daughter #2<P>How are you doing?<P>Bob<P>

Actually, pretty well... and I was gonna say pretty **** well, but I know how you hate cussing women! <P>David is here until Friday, and we're trying really hard to be kind to each other until he leaves... they had to paint his apartment, clean the carpet... he's pretty much just staying away from me... but we haven't had a fight this week, so that's good, right?<P>You seem to be in VERY good spirits... or maybe I should say you are tasting some very good spirits, huh? Why do they call them spirits, anyway? Do you know the answer to that, huh, huh?????

Bob,<BR> Had to ask you this.I've never even seen the OM.I'm so afraid of running into W with his fat paws on her at a store or someplace.Not sure what I'd do,maybe go into Mike Tyson Mode("Dead Meat!")What are you thinking when you see him?Does he acknowledge that you're there?Even look you in the eye?I don't think I could handle that.How do you deal with it? --Murph <P>[This message has been edited by Murphy (edited April 09, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Murphy (edited April 09, 2000).]

Murph,<P>I've only seen him once up close and that was last July when I confronted her at his motel. I just keep catching glimpses of him usually scurrying across a parking lot. The bad part I keep seeing people that look like him. I may have to start thinning the population around here!!!<P>I think I going to make the comment to him that he must be f-ing Carol's brains out as she keeps forgetting about her kids. Either that or ask when he is going to make an honest woman out of of my kids mother instead of a whore as I am concerned about there reputation.<P>How does that sound? Om isn't real sure what I look like either as that was the only time he saw me close up too. I think he recognizes me when he sees the kids or my car. I posted a couple weeks ago that I ran into him at the super market and he kept looking over his shoulder at me. I'll probably just throw up when I see them together. I just don't hope I don't see them with the kids acting like a family. I really don't know if I can handle that. I'm crying now even thinking about it.<P>Sheryl,<P>They are spirits because they make you see things!!!! The must have had more of an effect than I thought. I looked at your reply and either you went back in and added a whole lot more or I missed it.<P>I guess that good you're not fighting. I don't remember what thats like.<p>[This message has been edited by RWD (edited April 09, 2000).]

I think we both had really bad weekends. I was hoping for a great weekend with my H. But it ends up with one of those bad words you don't like women to use. : )<P>He now has told me again that he can not do this, meaning make marriage work. He said lets just figure out the settlement and get the D over with.<P>This is the same man who emailed me 2 weeks ago and asked for more time.<P>I am mad, and said I was leaving in his car (the pick up chick cadilac) and he can just take care of the kids this afternoon. So I left and went to SIL in another town.<P>We did a major LB's on the cellphones, enough for both batteries to die. I drive home and he leaves, with out saying goodbye to the kids and piles out of the driveway. this from a 42 year old, ex boy scout leader ect ect.<P>He did not feed them lunch or dinner, my kids started crying because he did not say goodbye to them. This is sad because one is 18 years old, is graduating from High School and she is crying saying she feels like she is being abandoned by her father.<P>I want to spit nails!!!!<P>So now I have feed kids, making them take baths, doing laundry, getting lunch money together ect ect...while he is off driving back out of town for his job.<P>Does this make me a SODA a super, ooper, dumb a$$ for still loving him.........yes!

by the way I talk to my kids friends all the time on the internet! I think it shows you are a great guy!<P>You can also find out some interesting things too!

My3kids,<P>Iming is how I find out who my d's current boyfriends are! I think most of my d's friends like me. My neighbor pointed out that if your kids friends are comfortable around you and hang out at your place then you will always know where your child is.<P>I was real curious to see if her friend would tell what Claire (my d) is feeling. I also wanted to know what she(2) felt when she was around om.<P>I didn't get to say good night to my s as x has her cell phone turned off. I'm must be out of energy, I can't even get P.O'd about that!<BR>

I think that you are right about if their friends are over at you house it is good.<P>My D (the oldest one) brings home kids from work all the time. The watch movies and order pizza. But I do know where she is ect, even though they leave the living room a pig stye. My oldest D claims the living room and the other kids get the family room.<P>I have always had kids coming and going here. I do not mind it, except for the mess they sometime leave since I am working part time now.<P>You are a great Dad! Your X will wake up one day and see what she missed out on. I am counting on that in my STBX. After today my kids are not very happy with him.<P>I am out of energy tonight too.....I am waiting for the energizer bunny to show up!