Two weeks ago my H emailed me and told me he needed more time. That things were still evolving for us. Now yesterday when he was in town he started his shaking again and told me he could not do it.<P>So I LB big time, took his car (half mine)I call it his pick up chick purple cadi, and left to go see my B and SIL and cry on their shoulder.<P>He kept telling me that he did not have feelings for the O/W ect ect. WEll I found a email he sent to her in his car that said he loved her ect ect. Funny thing is, she is moveing to another state far away in a month or so.<P>So I told him this on one of our many cell phone fights on the phone yesterday. I have not LBed for so long, but how long do you take getting lied to.<P>With her moving is great news for me. But it will not be soon enough to save my marriage. I do not know how long it will take for my H to get over her. It makes me cry to think some 29 year old could have her claws so deep into my H. I have been married to him my whole adult years. I wanted to plan the rest of my life around him and our kids. I know my H made choices too, but she came into my marriage, made my H an adulterer, a lier, a cheat, almost jobless,un trustworthy, he smokes now he drinks far too much ect.<P>He keeps saying that she has helped him to be a stronger person, ect ect. that she made postive changes in his life. Bull [censored]. All she did was break up a happy family. I dont care what my H says now we were happy.<P>Oh well I am venting and I have to be at work in a half hour and I am not in the shower yet. Good thing work is like 3 minutes from here.<BR>

My3Kids-<P>I'm sorry that you have seemed to be having rougher times as your try to find your path back to your marriage.<P>You are 100% correct about your feelings but also the LBusting that is easy to do, for sure.<P>One thought for your to consider...do not let the emotional chaos jumpstart your divorce. Or another way to say it is...<P>First, do not ever make life-changing decisions in the midst of emotional turmoil. When feelings are running high and language and rhetoric even higher, this is not a time to make decisions that will affect your life and that of your partner and children--NEVER BE IN A HURRY WHEN MAKING DECISIONS, THE CONSEQUENCES OF WHICH WILL BE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME!<P>If you are riding an emotional roller coaster, get on flat ground so you can take a rational and objective look at things before you start making life-changing decisions.<P>Try as best you can to get in that calmer water before you start to make decisions that involve moving forward with a divorce.<P>Before you make any kind of decision...do you understand the origins of why your husband betrayed you? Yes...the OW did play a part in the whole situation, but as you said your husband had a choice...and made a concious choice to betray as the other part of the situation.<P>You may find more areas to address in trying to improve your marriage by looking not only at the OW but also what areas of Emotional Needs are in need of attnetion for both of you.<P>Best to you on trying to find your way back to your relationship with your husband. <P>mrrlk

m3k<P>Nice to see you again although would prefer better circumstances for you.<P>Be strong, hang in there and give this a little more time. Don't waste your energy on his fantasy land comments that she made him stonger and have a positive change. BullS*T is right. He is talking nonsense.<P>Glad OW is moving, its never too late, and you deserve better. My prayers are with you for strength and peace, Dana<BR>