Hi friends,<P>Can you tell me what you do as far as visitation with the kids on a holiday? I feel it should be split 50/50 and that he should get them half a day and I should for half a day.<P>He walked out on xmas. I feel that alone should eliminate holidays forever for the jerk. But thats not logical. I dont' see how my kids should be without me on the holiday either.<P>In the proposed divorce papers, he wants every other holiday. I am fighting for split. This Easter, happens to fall on my day.<P>SHould I be a real jerk and not let him see them so he can get the full effect of his crappy little offer, or should I just send them . Thing is, if it were the other way around, he'd never let me see them. The next holiday is mothers day which I get and it also falls that I get them for july 4th, so I could let him suffer here if I like.<P>Ultimately I feel the kids need to see dad, but need to gain some control over ex too as he is really taking advantage. Wondering if this might let him feel some loneliness from them to see what I am trying to avoid for both of us.<P>Thanks, Dana<BR>

Dana,<P>H and I are going for the alternate holiday method. I agree with you...it's ridiculous. H will always have his family to go to for holidays. I have no one. So, when it's not "my" holiday I just won't celebrate it. We haven't even discussed Easter yet. I don't really care. Easter's not that big a deal for me. I think Thanksgiving and Xmas will be tough though. I always used to go to his family's stuff for lack of anything happening in MY family. Now I won't have that anymore. At least the kids will though. Sorry, I don't have any good advice for you. Good to "see" you again. <P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

My 1st H and I do every other holiday. It's the only fair way I could think of. He still sees my son around the holiday time but for the holiday dinner, we take turns. For example, If it's my turn for Christmas, I get him for Christmas morning and Christmas dinner. After dinner (and I've had time for him to visit with my family) I bring him to his father's wher he stays the night. I pick him up the next day.<P>This year I had Christmas, he had Thanksgiving and gets Easter. Next Thanksgiving I have him, so it ends up being fair as we each get to see him for aech holiday and every two years we also get to have him for dinner and family visits.

Dana,<BR>I'm going to be in the same boat. As my x works everyother weekend, she does not get the 3 day weekends, so while she may get the actual holiday off she would still ahve to work the day before or after. She gets every other holiday off, but Eve's don't count.<P>So if it is her weekend/holiday to have have the kids, she can only take them Sat& Sun nites, so I can't leave on Fri for a long weekend unless I take the kids too. My mother lives 3.5 hours away plus my daughter is mad at my mother for something my mother said about my x to my d.<P>For Easter, I'm staying here, its the kids weekend with their mother, but I am taking them to church. I guess if I wanted to I could take the kids as it is my holiday as per the the shared parenting plan. I think that would only cause more problems down the road.<P>Bob