I would really like some advice if at all possible.<P>My husband have been living far from each other for over 1 year due to his job, but we did see each other often and he would phone me often to say how much he loves me. 2 Months ago, he told me he wasn't sure how he felt. 2 Weeks ago, he told me he doesn't love me and wants out of the marriage. I was pregnant and have a child of 4. He said the baby was a big mistake.<P>I couldn't understand how feelings could change so quickly.<P>I believed him when he said there was no one else. I should have trusted my gut feeling as he showed all the classic signs. He still denies having an affair but says he is just good friends. The OW and him speak to each other very often, see each other and even do shopping together. Doesn't that say something?<P>Well today, more of my friends (where he lives) have said that he is having an affair and they have proof. Even if they do, I guess I knew but never wanted to accept it.<P>This is the problem, since he told me he did not love me, I have gone out of my way to accept all the hurt and anger and have been to counselling. I have decided that one person can make a difference. I do not want a divorce, but he does. I would like to try and make him change his mind (without any pressure). I have tried to let him go and maintained little contact with him. I would still love to make it work. I now know what I can do to improve things and I wish I had tried earlier. He is not interested at all.<P>Do I try my utmost if he is so interested in this OW or should I just be saying I'm wasting time with him and should be moving on.<P>He obviously cares for this OW and therefore does not want to try. Nevermind the hurt and pain he has caused this family. He has only thought of his own feelings in this whole thing.<P>Why did he give me false hope by saying that we would try again if he really wasn't interested. I think he is so confused as he was giving me mixed messages.<P>Apologies for going on and on and on.....

I think he is confused. Read thru the infidelity stuff on the homepage. Read up on Plan A ...<P>Come over and post on Infidelity boards and I bet you'll get more suggestions...<P>Hang in there!

Dear scared:<P>You are not a fool. And you are not alone. Some of us good people fall in love with some very messed up people. Hang in there, and hang around for a bit. You are not wrong to be in love with this guy. He is in the wrong. Marriage is much more than boyfriend/girlfriend. It comes with a lot of responsbility. Do your part, and keep on praying.<P>Paul