So ... last night was a tough night. I guess I'm not QUITE as emotionally "stable" as I have been thinking/pretending to be ...<P>I had a very stressful day at work - trying to get two days worth of work done in less than one, and then had a class at night. I got home after class and got my mail. I was tired and glad to be done for the day - wanted nothing more than to get something to eat, sit down in front of the computer and chat with my friends and just veg out. I was feeling kinda odd - had gone to Planned Parenthood to go back on the Pill. I had gone off it when I first got married, because we were going to have kids, so I was a little sad about going back on it - like I was saying I was definitely never going to have any.<P>So then I opened my mail... in the mail was a letter from a friend who was the director of the Christian singing group I belong to. He had taken some time off and has now decided that he doesn't want to come back to the group. This made/makes me very sad, because his leadership was a very big part of why I had remained with the group. I sat and read his letter and cried ... sobbed, is more like it! Spent the better part of an hour crying - not just over that, but EVERYTHING! I was online chatting with a friend who was immensely supportive, and eventually I felt a lot better... but it was not a fun evening. To top it off, my other friend (who has not missed a single day of either seeing me, emailing me or instant messaging me for the past three weeks), didn't log on and I didn't get any email nor see him... I was disappointed - he always makes me smile, and I sure needed a smile.<P>Then, when I went to bed, I started having nightmares! I don't even remember what they were about - but I felt like I couldn't breathe... I roused three times from the dream and went right back into it twice! The third time I made a point of waking myself up fully so that it wouldn't happen again... Finally, I got to go into an undisturbed sleep.<P>Today, the sun was shining when I got up and I felt so much better! I came to work and found out that my co-worker had called in sick... more work stress - just what I need! But I made myself smile and I was ok. Just before lunch time, my friend messaged me AND sent email, so my day was ever so much brighter... the sun was shining INside <P>After lunch, my husband showed up at the office. Lucky me! It was almost like he *sensed* my emotional weakness ... I did well, though - acted casual. Not angry, not overly cheerful. He stopped to tell me he had gotten the insurance issues straightened out... and asked me about mail, and told me he might come over tonight to get something of his from my apartment. Again, lucky me...<P>I was so glad when he left. I am feeling just a little bit "unstable" and I couldn't deal with him being there. I wonder if he noticed that the rings are off...?<P>Anyway ... that's been my last two days. Ups and downs and confusion and grief... Guess it's something I'll have to expect will happen every now and again! <P>::<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I can see clearly now,<BR>the rain is gone ...

Terri,<P>Dontcha just hate that?! You're going along like you don't have a care in the world, and the next thing you know you're having a down day (or two). I have those too. I even have at least 10 minutes a day that I get down and cry. But at least it's not that gut wrenching crying. It's just that feeling sorry for myself crying.<P>Keep your chin up,<BR>Mitzi

We all have those days. They sneak up on us when we are not looking and rob us of our strength. It is our way of healing. <P>Hang in there........<P>My D favorite all time movie is ANNIE (my D is 18 LOL)...The sun will come out tomorrow...bet your bottom dollor that tomorrow... : )

Back on the pill? Why so?<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Terri, <BR>I think we all have days like that...I still find myself sometimes in tears for no reason, just having a hard time keeping it all together. It will get better, those days get farther and farther apart. I am curious also...the pill????!!!!<BR><P>------------------<BR>Susan

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Terri}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>I sobbed all Tues night as Guard emptied his closet & drawers, getting ready to move into his house. Last night I flopped on my bed to veg in front of the TV...uh, no TV, that's the one that went with Guard. I thought I felt GOOD about his getting this house. I don't.<P>As for the pill...I'll assume it's those blasted middle age hormones because if you have any sort of other plans...you know there are safer ways. <P>Much love,<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10

I went off it when I was married. I felt so much healthier when I was on it - more energy, better skin, lost weight ... more emotionally stable. I had talked to my doctor about going back on it several times, but since it took me years to get my cycle back to normal when I went off it the first time, I didn't do it, as I expected that we would try to have children.<P>Since I'm not planning that, and because I have such emotional highs and lows related to my cycles, I discussed it again with my health care professionals and decided to go back on it. I am hoping it will smooth out the emotional madness and make me feel good!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I can see clearly now,<BR>the rain is gone ...

terri,<P>Unfortunetly, this is common as far as I've read. I too am suffering from this. I've fallen all the way back to anger/bitterness and some depression I think. <P>There are just things out there that will trigger these emotions I guess.<P><BR>Bob

Wow ... another bad night! Went to a birthday party with my friend (female friend - for those who think that's important at this stage) and it was a little bit boring ... gave me too much time to think, I guess. I only had one beer and then drank soda for the rest of the time. I was supposed to go out somewhere else with my friend afterward, but I just knew that wasn't a good idea.<P>She wanted me to go - had a nice guy she wanted me to meet, and I just started to cry ... I told her I am NOT ready to meet anyone new. I fell apart. She took me home.<P>And I feel fine today! A little tired, but not depressed. I can't quite figure this out and I hope it isn't going to continue for much longer...<P>So ... even after major decision making, the roller coaster continues to roll...<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I can see clearly now,<BR>the rain is gone ...