Went to a lawyer on a military base, they draw up the paperwork for you but cannot represent you in court. The day of the class my H showed up also, left because "both of us didn't need to be there."<P>My reason for going was for information. Anyway I met with the lawyer on Mon. he is doing the paperwork etc. My H asked me yesterday about the paperwork, I said about a week and it'll be done.<P>1st off, although I am the petitioner I am not going to file, if he wants to then he can, I have not told him this yet, when the paperwork comes in then I will, WHEN he asks about it. <P>2nd, H is going to be smokin mad when he sees the paperwork. In there I put he can have what hes taken already, nothing more. He wanted the entertainment center and big screen. It was my house before we married so it stays mine. Had to buy a car. He agreed to take all the bills, so he's got all the bills. <P>The lawyer said they go by income, he makes much more, if we do have to pay for lawyers (if he fights this) we go to court, the lawyer said the judge has to look at the income and I can't afford much more. I had to get a roomate to survive. <P>Hopefully this will put a delay in things. I really want to try and stall. H started his affair at the end of Jan. is "in love" and talking about getting married. <P>Opinions please!! H put us in MAJOR debt. I had NO bills prior to being with him, except for the house. <P>He really won't talk to me anymore. He comes by to get his mail (bills) from the mailbox and drives away. Got one of the income tax checks in today. I called him to tell him that, the other one is mine, when I get it. Don't remember the last time I called him.<P>I'm not sure if this a vent or what???? I am getting kinda resentful. Opinions wanted!!<P>Oh, I told him to get the paperwork going when I was VERY angry. He came and spent the night with me on March 30, wanted to come home etc etc, the next day I called him and said " I can't" I was VERY PO'D.<P>that's all for now...<P>Tracy

Tracy,<P>Definately, a Vent! Keep at it. It sounds like you have a lot of resentment to get out of your system.<P>Like you, I decided not to be the petitioner. Although, my reason for this decision is simply that I think my H will eventually come to his senses. But in your case, you might be better off to cut your losses. Don't use resentment as a reason to continue a marriage. It will just prolong your suffering. It sounds like your H has already moved on with his life and there probably is no stopping him. Why do you want to place a roadblock in your life? If he agrees to the property distribution, considering filing. If he wants to fight about the big screen, then tell him that he has to file. Gee Whiz! A big screen is pretty petty in the big picture of life.<P>Vent all you need. But don't give your H and the OW a second thought. Sounds like the OW may be getting what she deserves. <P>Karel