On my sons baptizm my husband said he wanted to seperate. Two weeks later through a phone bill I found out he was having an affair. Two weeks later 2/29/00 I filed for divorce. On 3/1/00 I had temporary sole custody of our son. My husband and the OW said they were going to take Dylan away from me. They live in Indiana I live in Illinois. Husband wanted me to not file for divorce this was only a phase he was going through, but with the threats I went ahead and filed. He has us so far in debt that we need to file for bankrupcy both attorneys agrred on this, but he doesnt want to do that. Last week he came to see Dylan we had a great time. He says he has all of his stuff in bags at her house, doesn't like her attidude, or her friends. Asked me if we got back together if I would move. I AM SO CONFUSED CAN ANY HELP. I know it would take alot for a marriage to work but I believe in may wedding vows very much. Thanks for any help or suggestions in advance. Has any expiernced this wavering?

How long have you been married? I would just be nervous that he will not stop having contact with the ow. Could it be possible that he is scared about going broke and after speaking to the lawyers, he realize this and thought it would be better to stay with you? <P>I would just hate to see you go thru the pain of him not letting the ow go. Believe my I am living with this now. My h said he wanted to make marriage work but he lied the whole time. <P>Just be careful and really think this through..

Hi Tigger,<P><B>Belated welcome to you!</B><P>I read your post and it made me curious to check on your previous ones; you first posted in prayers requests and now here, but I don't see anyone telling you what this site is all about. I hope you have read some of the material in it, but in case you haven't, please go to this site:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html</A> <P>It is a general welcome by one of the members: NSR (Jim), and is pretty enlightining.<P>Your husband says that he wants to come back and that is encouraging if you want him back. Read the material in this site, both Dr. Harvey's and from other members, get involved by posting and replying. You have just began a journey that will help you grow and hopefully save your marriage.<P>Hang in there.<P>Alex<P>------------------<BR><B>Live fully and always learn</B>

We have been marriage 6 years I have known H for 13. We were to be marriage about 8 years ago and he decided he needed to explore he saw this same lady. She tried to kill herself at that time. I wonder if thats not the problem with leaving. I dont know. I am so confused part of me wants are marriage to succeed but part of me doesnt want to have to go through this again 6 to 8 years from now. When my son is old enough to understand.Thanks in advance for all the help. Im so glad to know Im not the only one going throuth this.

Tigger,<P>Whether you want to work on your marriage or not is your decision. Right now you are hurt and is normal that you feel confused. It's a long journey ahead, with him or without him, <B>don't go through it alone</B>. Here you'll find friends and many who have gone through the same or similar ordeal.<P>Also, I suggest that you <B>move to the General Questions AND the Plan A / Plan B Forums</B>, where I believe you will find more answers. We here at the Divorce Forum are either already divorced or in the process of separating/divorcing <B>AFTER</B> trying unsuccessfully to save the relationship with our spouses.<P>I wish you the best.<P>Alex<P>------------------<BR><B>Live fully and always learn</B>

Tigger...<BR>sorry not much advice....just a big hug. Will moving help the situation? Many say that moving away....is kind of like starting over...fresh. But I understand you being hesitant......will he do it again.....has to be going through your head.<P>Ask yourself...what do you want for your child and yourself? If this has been sort of a pattern for him.....then you probably need to think long and hard before making that decision.<P>I wish you the best of luck<P>Nancy