Okay, MMT--I'll bite and respond to your (second) mention that sex is only available about 1/2 the month because of PMS and menstruation. I don't know--it all seems COMPLETELY weird to me. I mean--why would PMS preclude sex? Ditto with menstruation. Does your W have a terribly bad case of PMS? Is menstruation so painful that sex is unthinkable for her? Is this all her decision, yours, or both?

Hi Guys,<P>By Friday night, the phone line was off in the apartment (they must have figured out the last resident really left) so I've missed all of pages 7 and 8! I'm in the office for a few minutes but it's too s$%%$y (Kim, see I didn't say the s$n word or even mention the state I'm in, either!) outside to stay in here long - I'll download the discussion to my Palm Pilot and read all of it tonight.<P>My assignment for myself yesterday was to set up enough stuff in my apartment to at least print, mount, mat and frame one photograph so I have something personal on the wall - I did it (a picture of the sunset over SF bay) and then took off this afternoon to wander around in China Town and take some pictures. I'm alternating among sad, mad and ok the last couple of days. Just knowing you guys are out there helps - thanks!<P>Mark<BR>

That's OK, Mark. You can say that state. I'm not partial to it!! And we got quite a bit of our own sun this weekend, so I guess I'll lighten up on ya! Hey, the photo excursion sounds like a lot of fun! I have got to get back into my photography too. You see the world differently through a lens it seems. (I should do it now. I probably won't be able to afford the film much longer! kidding)

Hello everybody. Well, tomorrow I'll be setting up a new post, and guess what?? Time for a name change!<P>How's 'Probably not getting divorced, right?' sound? (Yes Kim, its all in the punctuation!). Here's the short version.<P>My W (note, not STBX!) said this AM that she really just likes a lot of her life right now, and that to split up would be a mistake. Her reasons have to do with wanting to keep the family together, being excited about her new business (and needing the barn/shop to launch it from), and a general 'its spring and I have a new outlook on life' attitude. It was a quick conversation in the car.... but was friendly and honest adn sincere. We spent the balance of the day as planned, working together outside (actually tore down a shed and burned it.... kind of symbolic now that I think fo it!), but didn't talk about things much further. I ache all over from the work, but my grin muscles are most tired tonight!<P>Not exactly rushing back into my arms (we still have seperate bedrooms, and we haven't kissed or hugged yet), but a move in the right direction. <P>A key issue is that she said absolutely nothing about 'trying to make it work', which is great..... because her expectations always lead to things not working out. And she seems to be indicating that while she reserves the right to move on at a later date.... she's staying for the forseeable future.<P>So I see progress in the right direction. No unrealistic expectations. And I even hope that she'll be willing to reexamine things more along the lines of how I think they could work, including some of the MarriageBuilder and DivorceBusting stuff.<P>So, tomorrow we see the couples counselor, hopefully this will be a good new beginning!<P>Catch you all later!

Hurray!! Things are looking good!

Chuck, great Glad for you. Cool and all that stuff. WOW OK Kim I didn't put on the cheerleading outfit for Chuck, only the cheers. LOL

Chuck.....that is GREAT news!!! We knew it would happen for you. This is what I believe. You've had a slight attitude change lately, and your W picked up on that (there goes that women's intuition in high gear again). She probably didn't even realize it on a conscious level. It doesn't matter. Things are happening, and you're smiling, so GOOD FOR YOU!!!

Welcome new forum members.<P>I just wanted to make a quick note here to address some growing concerns.<P>I'll assume that by now you've taken the time to lurk around our community here to get a feel for the group dynamics. Although the members may have changed, the dynamics have stayed pretty much the same for over 2 years now. It's a wonderfully supportive group we have here!<P>I am concerned about the clique you have here. In short, it can severely damage a group dynamic. Other group members tend to become more reserved in their questions and support, and even wonder why your here in the first place. The result is a generalized deflation of the group.<P>I'm not clear about why you were kicked out of DB's forum, but I'm sure Michelle had a good reason. My guess is that it had something to do with the same issue that we are forced to deal with here. The dynamics you faced at DB are much the same here at Marriage Builders. The thought is if things didn't go well over there, then things won't go well over here either unless something changes.<P>Please understand that my comments have nothing to do with server load, congestion, or financial issues of any kind. It all comes down to basically two things: maintaining an open discussion AND a sense of community.<P>You are all welcome to participate here and are encouraged to do so. If you have any questions about how this community works, all you need to do is ask and someone will jump in and help.<P>One last thing. This is not a public forum. At least not in the way the term "public" has been thrown around. This is a privately owned forum that has been made available to those who agree to abide by the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/Ultimate.cgi?action=agree" TARGET=_blank>Rules and Guidelines</A>, in addition to the guidelines on the <a href="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/mbi01_forum.html" TARGET=_blank>forum welcome page</a>.<P>God bless,<P>Steve