I feel like a victim of insanity. We were married 30 years. She kissed me goodbye like always that day. I came home to a note and was FORCED into a divorce. It's been almost 2 years and she has never spoken to me since. I was a good husband, no cheating, drinking, violence etc. She turned 50 that year. She had a hysterectomy at 30 and was put on hormone replacement the summer before she left. She became obsessed with working out and walking. The reason for the divorce was "irreconcilable differences." A week before she left she said "There is nothing we can not work out after 30 years". The note said she wants to find herself. <BR>She is in a mobile home by herself and is working the same jobs. She rarely visits our sons. Is she insane or am I for still caring for her.<BR>Norm

Also, I was on an anti dressant for almost 2 years. I went skiing that winter with no intenstion of coming back. Did break my leg badly. She nerver evan asked our son's about what happened. I have very bad days and good days. I have a puppy coming soon. I have dated but to use her words "Why try the rest when you've had the best?". I see my therapist on Friday.

Blackknight...<BR>Well isn't life grand? My stbx kissed me and said I love you....left to get Easter candy (4/99) and never came back. Although I had found out about an affair 4 months earlier.....I thought we were working it out.<P>He very rarely asks the girls about me.....almost never. But he does stalk us....me. He does do his visitation...but rarely calls in between...too busy. <P>Has she found herself? Does your son say anything about her? She is probably depressed and can't find herself and a way to be happy. Have you tried calling her?<P>Sorry for all of the questions.....just wondered.<P>Good luck.....<BR>Nancy

Nancy,<BR>I don 't want to talk to her right now and it appears that to her anyway I've ceased to exist. Let me remember, she has a restraining order on me, her sisters idea. So I "won't bother her with my crying." My lawyer called for a hearing. No proof of any abuse was found. So, last year on what would have been our 32 anniversary I sent her a rose. She called my daughter in law the next day crying and threatening to call the cops if I sent her anything else. Needless to say I have not sent her anything. My sons say she rarely visit them. <BR>Norm

Norm...<P>I am so sorry. Seems like she has just shunned everyone who loves her, and that is so sad.<P>I know all about restraining orders. My first attorney had one filed on my H and since that time he has used it against me. He countered and filed one too. And when I tried to call him he would threaten to have me arrested. He also said that he could not call the house and talk to the girls. He used that for about a week and I went to my attorney and had papers filed that said he could. He still didn't try to call until after the prelim. Now, 1 year later.....he only calls about once a week at the most and talks to them for about 2 minutes each. Their last conversation had him asking a 7 year old if she watched the 10 Commandments. LOL.......For 2 reasons I just laughed...how many 7 year olds watch a 4 hour movie....and what a hypocrite (sp?).<P>But enough about my crap.....I wish there was something I could say to you....anything to take away your pain. I know how bad it hurts.<P>Nancy

Nancy,<BR>So sad to hear about your problems. I find that divorce is all to easy. I think the law should be changed so that the one leaving must show a very good reason or not be allowed to any monitory gain . I go pick up my new puppy this morning. I hope this will help me. I was fine yesterday morning until I saw her leave her car, glance at me going by and hurried up and almost ran into the store. This left me totally bummed out the rest of the day. After 30 years and she is afraid to wave at me. Who is sicker? Everyone tells me to get over it. Well they never had their hearts cut out and stomped on. For all years she was my best friend as well as many other things. It's been almost 2 years and it still hurts like hell and for me, it's worse because she does not seem to be bothered by her actions. I would sooner die myself than inflicted this kind of HATE to anyone. How can she sleep at night? Well enough of this for now, I'm off to get my puppy. Must come up with a name for her. Thought about calling "Julie" after my ex, they are both after all *****es. The puppy is a real lady and will never leave me, will always be glad to see me and will not just leave a note. <BR>Bye for now.<BR>Norm<BR>P.S. I'm in Maine, mind if I ask what state your in?