I love my husband, and have been married for almost a year. We dated for almost 5 years, but the relationship was long distance (2000 miles). Over the course of the years I wasn't sure that we were going to be together and I dated outside of the realtionship. I did not tell my husband (then boyfriend) that I dated, and years lated he confessed that he did the same. We decided to finally be together and I was to relocate to his area, the decision was consumated the same night. Just before I moved, I found out that I was pregnant....I had had sex with only one other person. Three years,a baby and a marriage later, my husband is unsure if the baby is his and wants to have a paternity test. Please help me, I don't want to lose my husband, and I don't have anyone else to turn to. I know this relationship was built on lies at the very beginning but I wanted it to work and I did anything and everything to keep the relationship together. I never wanted to hurt him and I don't want to destroy everything that we have worked so hard for. If I don't agree to the test he will leave me, if I do, I stand the chance of losing him anyway. What whould I do?

If my math is correct, your child is now over 2 years old. If your husband is now demanding a paternity test, your ultimate problem is not that the child might not be his, but that he is looking for a way out. Think of it this way: for 2 years he has played the role of this child's father, with whatever doubts he may have had. If he were truly committed to you, and to this child, he would not seek information that could potentially destroy this family unit. So I say, do the test. If he's just looking for an excuse to leave, he'll find something else if you don't consent to the test. Meanwhile, I think you should probe why he has come to this decision at this time, and why he now wants out.