I thought I had everything all planned out. I would go out of town two nites for work, get a babysitter to sit with them both nights. No sweat.<P>Now, my d won't talk to me, my s is upset with me but he is talking me and is mad and fighting with his sister. The babysitter calls and she is upset with what went down. My x is pissed(don't care about this) and says I don't communicate and take this righteous tone about everything, that she can't do anything right(I agree with her there!) and top it all off I'm 200 miles away sitting in a motel room and can't do a damn thing about it.<P>My x picked up the kids tonite at 5:30, I didn't know she was off, and kept them till after 9:00. The baby siiter had a bible study from 8-9 so she said okay. The only problem was that nobody told me!<P>My x started making all kind of excuses and I got mad, I didn't think that much but the kids were there and over heard. I some how became the bad guy in all this, the kids don't like me yelling at the mother. I had been pretty good about it, but she keeps doing stupid things.<P>She said she couldn't take the kids tonite because she has a lecture to teach at 8am. For some reason she can't get up earlier and still get the kids off to school. She also said she told me that, which she hadn't.<P>I screwed up because I didn't have hotel reservations and had no phone numbers to give them, even though I had my cell phone and a message could have left on my business phone.<P>I couldn't reach anybody from 7:30 till after 9:00 when I finally got ahold of the kids at my x's. The phone was busy so I had a clue that my d was there.<P>Will this ever get better? This breaks my heart that my kids are now getting caught up in this. I just want it all to go away.

Hang in there Bob, stuff happens. Will it get better? I certainly hope so. I have to believe it will. You just happen to be a victm of circumstance this week.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Hey Bill,<P>How are you doing? Haven't heard much from you lately !<P>I don't know whether to be angry or sad.<P>I think my x is trying to punish me now. She said when we were married she never knew where I was when I was out of town. I did tell her, and I called her EVERY night. The only thing was I never knew where I was staying till I got to the area, I never made reservation ahead of time. The other thing was she never showed any concern aboout me or my job. When I would call at night, she usually had something to b^$%h about, no wonder I never felt like calling home other than to talk to the kids. <P>All that traveling, none last year but heavily the 3 yrs prior to that and I never even flirted with another woman. I sat in the hotel room 99% of the time. Yet she was the one that cheated.<P><BR>I guess I should be gald I'm not home, as I'm running the full gamit of emotions tonite. The kids don't need to see this.

RWD<P>You are a good man. I can tell from your last post. I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time. I hope it gets easier soon. This is all so new to me. I just found out everything on Feb. 23rd. I had no clue that my husband wanted a divorce and was interested in other women. Now I doubt my whole marriage. I wonder how long he has been interested in other women. He was always a flirt but I always thought it was innocent enough. Good for you for remaining faithful on all your trips. That's how it should be. I'm sorry your wife did not do the same. It really hurts to be betrayed. You think you know someone and then Wham, you are talking to a stranger.<BR>

Bob,<P>I have been lurking but haven't posted in a while. Tonight I got the urge to reply, I plan on on posting an update, much hasn't changed and I really haven't had alot to give lately.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

No doubt about it ... divorce sucks.<P>But, they keep telling me it all gets better with time... And I know that is true...<P>Hugs, RWD... hang in there!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I can see clearly now,<BR>the rain is gone ...

terri,<P>I can see it is. I am getting less and less upset with the stupid things she is doing now. I try to no longer allow her poor justifications and lies/blatant errors to cause me to loose my cool. I allow her to make these statements and just push my issues/concerns.<P>In the divorce workshop I'm attending, we talked about forgiveness and they asked each of us in our small groups if we had forgiven our spouses. I said I haad for the affair, but was still having trouble forgiving her for the things she said in counseling and also the stupid things she has been doing like this week, but I am working on it.<P>I guess it will just take time.<P>

My H has mostly been gone for almost 7 months. During this time he has come home for 1 month (but worked late or traveled) so without that month, he has taken care of the kids for 3 night.<P>He has many excuses. One he does not have his own placet to live. (He is living at his folks though he has been working out of town for the last 6 weeks) He does not come home for weekends.......he is too stressed.<P>He has changed his mind about our D for 3 times this last month, but has emailed me yesterday telling me he wanted it.<P>So I told him I expect some help from him with the kids. I have tried to hold this family together for him for the whole time while he lives in fantasy land. I will be starting college again this summer to get my teaching degree and he better hold up his end and take care of the kids the 2 nights a week I will be gone.<P>i just hope that his fantasy land will crumble when he finally has to take care of the kids and take some responsibility.<P>This whole D, visitation ect......stinks. I feel for you........Hang in there...<P>i just hope that it does get better with time. I have been here at the computer listening to Dixie Chicks song "you were mine" over and over......it is like how I really feel.<P>Can you tell I am down tonight too.....