I am totally confused and would like some advice from anyone who has been there.<P>Today is Thursday, my divorce was just finalized in court on Monday. I am already regretting the whole thing. We were separated for about 6 months and during that time we tried to get back together but it never worked. Now, we both kind of want to try again. We both love each other very much. We were only married one year and have no children. We separated because he was not appreciative enough and now that he's lost me, he's learned a lot and would like to show me. I have forgiven him for hurting me and would like to try again.<P>Is it too soon to reconcile? Are we just having these feelings because the divorce just happened?

GE, nobody can really tell you what to do...like anything, it could work, it might not. But if there is forgiveness and a willingness to learn from mistakes and a willingness to commit and do whatever it takes, why not try? I do look at marriage Biblically and although you may divorce by law, you are one in God's eyes and he loves & honors marriage.<P>I'd suggest seeing a counselor together, or a marriage (or pre-marriage) weekend to make sure you are both on the same page and understand what makes a marriage successful. No need to rush into anything. Take some time.<P>Best wishes<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10

GE,<P>I really don't think that there is a "too soon" to begin a reconciliation. If you both agree that divorcing was a mistake, that is a great basis for a new marriage. You already know one another's faults, and if you both want to try again, there is no one better to try with. <P>Just base your new marriage on God and I really think that it will stand.<P>May the Lord Bless You and Keep You, <BR>John

Thank you Lor and John. Your suggestions and thoughts have inspired me. I will share them with my X.<P>I saw him for the first time in about 2 months and things went great. He says he feels as if he's falling in love all over again, and I do too! We were both extremely nervous and had "butterflies" in our stomachs. I am excited, but I definitely don't want to "rush" into anything.<P>Thanks, again.

My H told me divorcing him would be the only way to get him back. what he means by that is that he needs closure, a new beginning and time alone to find himself again.<P>He is in a MLC. He wants to date and do things together as a family ect when this is all over.<P>I am ready to start and we are not even D'ed yet. I also wonder if I am loco.<P>We also have tried to get back together, but it has not worked (mainly because he is not over the O/W)<P>Good luck and follow your heart and your instincts. People get remarried all the time.

GE- You've heard the saying that it's never too late, well, I believe it's also never too early. Go for it and best of luck on those butterflies. I can't wait 'till I feel them again.

GE,<P>I read your post with a couple tears in my eyes. So many of us here dream of the situation you are in - you both feel you want to try again. Don't let logic or your mind get in the way. Follow your hearts.<P>Maybe in some way the divorce released all the pain and anger and allowed you both to begin to forgive each other. Use that as a new beginning. I agree with Lor, go get some counseling - it will definitely help. If you both have faith in your life, my advice is to go to a christian counselor - for they are usually more inclined to look at marriage as a sacred institution rather than as a contract as some other counselors do.<P>In any case, don't forget to say a thank you to God and also ask for his guidance and support for both you and your husband. This may be a new beginning, but be sure that there will be some difficult times ahead for the both of you. Be strong. Trust in your love.<P>God Bless

GE<P>To repeat what others have said, "you have almost everyone's dream here on MB".<P>Men (I are one), tend to want to forgive, forget and let's get on with the program; while women tend to take longer to heal.<P>By all means, pursue reconciliation but do not rush to the altar a second time. I would encourage you both to become "best friends" first....date as you did before your first marriage and give it time to build.<P>Enjoy sometime for courtship, dating and talking. Even though you are divorced in the eyes of the State..in God's eyes I believe you are both still married.<P>However, to be honorable and abide by the Word of God....I would refrain from sexual involvement if/until you are remarried.<P>You both have a great opportunity, one which I hung on to for 4 years with my ex-wife. After a 4 year separation, we divorced in March of this year.<P>I think you have a great foundation for a second chance...only don't rush to the altar until you both have peace.<P>Best Wishes...<P>[censored] from Texas (Fort Worth)<P>P.S.<P>MyKids said the only way her husband said it would work, would be for them to be divorced.<P>I totally agree with this, as I told my wife when we divorced in March (a no fault divorce)....that even if she wanted to reconcile with me...I would still want the divorce to go through in order to bring closure to the past.<P>I felt there would have to be a death and total closure to what we had and if we were to re-marry, it would have to be brand new, a fresh start....<P><p>[This message has been edited by [censored] (edited October 06, 2000).]

If both of you want to try and work things out, I say go for it but do it with the help of a good therapist