I hate all of this divorce stuff.....my stbx is so mean. Now he has this wonderful life......when he remembers he has children...he calls. But most of the time the beer and bars and games and women are more important. <P>No matter what excuses I make for their dad....the girls know. They are far more bitter than me.<P>Sometimes he will call and you can tell he is drunk. His conversations with the girls consist of talking about a commercial that is on TV at the time......questions on what they did last night or last week-end.....or talking about some sporting event that is on tv or that he just saw. They are usually done within 3-5 minutes. But if he is mad.....sh*t hits the fan.....just a bunch of "threats" or telling them how they are going to be sorry.<P>When will they learn....our lives go on too. We just don't stop everything and wait for his call....we don't plan or make arrangements with him in mind....we have to think of ourselves too.<P>Last September...when our youngest was very sick.....I called him at work to tell him. It was after hours, so the only choices I had where the emergency room or an immediate care center. I called so we could co-parent. No go...his only concern was the cost...and get this....he said you know you have to pay for this. Don't send the bill to me. She ended up having pneumonia....did he call? NO....I called him about 10.00 pm on that Friday.....no answer.....11:00 pm..no answer. Then Saturday came and went.....on Sunday...I finally left a msg. <P>But boy on Wednesday...when it was his visitation......he was mad because she didn't want to go with him.....was upset about him not calling.....his only excuse.....well I was waiting for your moms call....because I didn't want to wake you if you were sick.<P>Nancy

Wow, Nancy. I feel for you. I hear stories like yours, and it makes my STBX look pretty good. He may have abandoned me and our family, but he is there for our son and still my friend. It makes me sad that the children have to go through so much. Sometimes the children are more mature than the adults, aren't they. Tough way to grow up fast though. Hang in there and keep doing what you're doing. It's hard to be strong sometimes, though.