OK, here is my shocking life........<P>H & I dated for 3 years, we moved in together & got married last August after an 8 month engagement. H opened his dream restaurant the next month. Everything was wonderful. In December H started acting very different. I just thought it was stress and work-overload. He started to tell me that he wasn't happy and wanted to get out!! He then moved out in January and a few weeks later I found out that he was spending a lot of time with one of his servers who was going through a divorce. He would lie about everything. I went to a church counselor and he told me to respect myself, so I filed for divorce in February. But now I feel like I did it out of anger instead of waiting things out. But how long to you continue to wait if your spouse doesn't want the marriage anymore and won't stop seeing the OW? I learned a lot about infidelity on these web sites and H is a carbon copy. He still wants us to be friends and feels guilty all the time. We talk at least every 3 days and last week I left a message on his answering machinge that I wanted to go atleast a week without talking. Well he called the next day to "see how I was doing"! Why do they do this? It's like they still want you to hang on but yet they don't want to be married and won't stop the affair. I'm in such shock over all of this and am so confused by everything. I keep trying to understand but I can't.

Honey, your story is no more shocking to us than anyone else's but I do know how you feel! <P>So first, here's a big (((((HUG))))). I think everyone in this situation could use at least one a day. <P>You say that you have read the info on the site. That's great!! If you haven't done so already, go to the "Just found out" forum here and read NSR's welcome. Here's a link to it:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html</A> <P>He gives a lot of useful info to help you get started.<P>Take care,<BR>Mitzi

Mitzi- <P>How are things? I know you had some pretty tough days a few weeks ago...are you doing better?<P>I sure hope so. Take care...<P>mrrlk