So I’m divorced, but I don’t feel it. I wouldn’t mind feeling married, but I wouldn’t have got divorced if I had liked the way my marriage was. The bad thing about it is that’s the only thing my H wants to go back to. He wants it to be the way it was. Does he think I was happy when I filed for divorce? This man wants to go out without me, because he can’t have as good of a time with me. Go figure on why then, he would want to spend the rest of his life with me. I wanted the man to want me, now he says he does, but those times he goes out without me say something else. I want to give up on him, but can’t and don’t know why. I’ve never gave up on anything. That could be it, but it could be just because I’m too scared to move on. I met someone during the time (eight months) when we separated before the divorce. He made me feel like I never felt before even with my H. My H was a good guy he just always felt like there was something else out there and I always knew he felt that way. Then he would wonder why I didn’t feel secure. The other guy thinks I’m more than good enough, and is willing to give anything to me. My exH thinks giving me him is enough. I tell him what I need, but he’s not listening. I know he plays the mind games, and he’s very good at them. Every bad thing he does (go to the bar) is a reaction to something I did. I don’t go to the bar when he says or does something that I don’t like or that hurts my feelings. It’s him as an individual that’s going out and if I’m sooooo bad why is he here. Why doesn’t he just let me be if all I do is "force" him to go to the bar and make him feel like such a bad person?

Sounds like you are still emotionally attached to him, but are able to see the forest AND the trees. If the problems that tore you apart are still there, they are still there. Maybe you just need some distance and time. Thinking about things won't make them change. You have to do something. Since you don't seem to be working on your issues, I'd suggest you just try to move on.