This is my first time posting to the forum, though I've been lurking for awhile. I've toured the site, and tried to become familiar with the basic concepts, which make a lot of sense. I'm also about 1/3 of the way through 'His Needs, Her Needs'.
<p>I haven't seen anyone comment pro or con on the telephone counseling offered by Dr. Harley. I have to admit, the idea seems a little unusual (the telephone part, I mean). But then, since I've never gone to conseling before, I don't know what IS usual. So how about it you guys: Is it helpful?
<p>Doug

Doug,
<p>I've used the marriage counseling here as well as done individual therapy in person. I quit my local psychologist and psychiatrist; but I still use Steve Harley for marriage counseling.
<p>Is it helpful? Yes, tremendously. I doubt that I could have gotten through the past year of my wife's affair without his counseling. Certainly not in 'as good shape'. And in my case, the counseling was 'successful' in that my wife and I are reconciling. This took place under very difficult circumstances, and she wasn't involved (much) with the counseling.
<p>I had concerns about the lack of nonverbal communication that would go with phone counseling. Apparently this hasn't been a problem. Benefits are that it's extremely convenient and relatively inexpensive compared to other forms of therapy. And the behavioral approach that the Harley's practice was very effective, at least for me. I would definitely recommend that you try it!

K,
<p>Thanks for your reply to Doug because I've wondered about the same thing. This is very useful feedback.

I have read a great deal, gone to individual counseling, looked everywhere to find the answers.
<br>I've now had 2 sessions w/ Dr. Harley and have found it to be very helpful. In fact, I will call again this week to set up another appt.
<br>Thought about it for a long time, but my thoughts were - I wanted to try anything which might help. I could always hang up if I was uncomfortable. The cost was reasonable, and well worth it if it gave me even the slightest help getting thru this pain. What's the worst that can happen.
<br>Good luck
<br>Sara

K, Bruce, and Sara: Thanks for your responses. I was thinking of making an appointment anyway, but it's good to see some 'testimonials'.
<p>I know I need to talk to someone. My employer has an arrangement with a local counseling center, but I've never been there, and I'm not too keen on starting. Several years ago, my wife started seeing a counselor there, after which I started hearing about what a second-rate husband I was, and how she felt cheated by being in our marriage. Apparently the counselor said that maybe my wife should leave me to reduce her depression. (Well thanks very much, counselor! Nothing like nudging my wife toward the edge!!) I know I need some advice, but I don't need THAT kind of advice!
<p>Thanks again
<br>Doug
<p>
<p>

Friends,
<p>How do I get in touch with Dr. Hardy?
<br>I have been trying to get my wife to go to counseling, but she refuses. I would like some advice as to how to convince her that it's worth a try.
<p>Thanks,
<p>John
<p>E-Mail me @ JCWELL@thegrid.net

John,
<p>Steve Harley (Dr. Harley's son) is the counselor at Marriage Builders. You can reach him at 888-639-1639 to make an appointment. You can also fill out an email/electronic form on this site: it's under 'counseling'.
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