My H and I have had quite a few rough years. The last four months he has convinced himself I am having an affair. He is looking for things to prove this, but it is not true. I am faithful and as long as I have a wedding vow will be. A lot of people tell me he is probably having one and that is why he is accusing me. I really don't think this is the case. I think he is loyal to his vows and wants to believe that I am having an affair because that is the only way he can justify leaving/divorcing me. I love this man more than I ever thought I could love anyone, but can't continue to live like this, wondering if today is the day he walks out and I spend so much time and energy trying to make sure that each action will not make him think I am having an affair. <P>We do not have any kids (we were trying but he told me the other day to go back on "the pill", and followed that by saying that I probably never went off of it), so I guess we need to make a decision now. I want to spend my life with the man I married and have his kids, but I am not sure what has happened to him. <P>He has absolutely no trust in me whatsoever, and I don't know why. He refuses counseling. Should we continue to try to work this out, or just get on with our lives? He says that he loves me but does not like being married, and that he would have a lot more money without me. He is due a rather large inheritance from his parents in the next few years and I am wondering if he just wants to take that and "do his thing" (whatever that may be).

I wonder if maybe he had an emotional affair. That would seem to be the only reason that he no longer trusts you.<P>Perhaps the op ended the EA and he is going through withdrawal and thinks maybe he can get the op back if he is divorced.<P>I don't know, only my guess based on what I've heard on this forum.

Last night we had decided to separate for a while a see what happens. He said he wants the separation to try to salvage our marriage. But I think he is starting to have second thoughts. He said today that when I get home from work he wants to talk and unless I can convince him that splitting up temporarily is not the best option, he is moving out tomorrow. He said there are just too many signs that I am having an affair. (Some examples are: I have AOl Instant Messanger and one day he was on the account and a message from a former employee sent me an IM (I am HR coordinator) with his new address, and then I set up a daily text message to my cell phone to give me the weather update. this comes in everyday at 6:15 am. This was through Life Minders and showed it was from LFMN and the IM address of my ex-employee was slkedjhgk and he thinks they are the same.) I just need advice on whether or not I should even try to talk him out of separation or just let him go. I really want to be with him and have his children, but this is getting out of hand. HELP>