Hi friends,<P>Well, its official. We were unable to agree on anything to settle the divorce without going to trial. We agreed on custody, visitation and holidays, where we disagree is his responsibility to pay half of the debt he incurred during the marriage, which up til now, he has paid none.<P>He brought the OW to court. So much for my going out of my way to invite her into the house, she was there speaking for him, glaring at me, and making all his decisions for him. The marriage screening used to be both spouses sit in seperate rooms , however due to renovations, I got the thrill of sitting 6 seats away and listening to them insult me, threaten and just brag about whatever, just to piss me off. <P>I ignored them as best as I could. At one point, while waiting, I just went to sleep for a little while. WHen we sat in front of the mediator at the end, he told STBX that this trial was ridiculous and the judge would award me all my attorney fees and he would walk away in much worse shape than the outrageously generous offer I had made. Ex claims he will drag this out for 3 years. <P>He is being charged with contempt for 3 counts, of failure to pay a court order, failure to pay a certain debt, and failure to pay on the second car which is solely in my name. He was warned he may go to jail. He said he didn't care. THE OW was not happy. <P>I could see her thinking, if he drags this out, I don't get married for 3 years, and I don't get any money if he is in jail. She was trying to help bargain, but for her own selfish benefit. She is a slime and although I dont' regret, acting civil towards her in front of my kids, I will be waiting happily to say "I told you so", when somewhere down the road, he does this to her.<P>He also withdrew his petition for divorce. He thought that would get him out of the hot seat. Luckily , I countersued on ADULTRY, and now, he has to face up to this anyway. <P>Just when I thought, he couldn't sink any lower, than leaving the family on xmas, serving divorce papers on Valentines Day, now he brought OW to court??<P>I'm very upset right now. Moreso, from the grief of sitting there with the two of them, being insulted for 2 hours. As I type this, he continues to page me and drive by my house.<P>Well, thats my update, thanks for listening and sorry so long. Hopefully no one out there has to put up with this much bu!!$hit like I do. <P>Prayers to all,<BR>Dana<P>

Dana,<P>Let it go to trial!!! It can only work out good for you!! And wouldn't it just be horrible if he ended up in jail on contempt charges. <P>Let him pay!!<P>(((((HUGS)))))<BR>Mitzi

Dana,<BR>Man, to think you were trying to be so decent even considering if you could be her friend. Now, you hear her saying all that slimy stuff about you! She is what she is.<BR>We just filed a contempt charge against my H. He sold all of our stock without my knowledge or consent. They just continue to try and control us. They cant see how insane their lives are going.<BR>Let it go to court. You have done NOTHING wrong! He will look like the jerk he is. Stupid is as stupid does. <BR>I am going to a prayer group tonight for the first time. I will pray for you that all goes well for you!<BR>Do not let their horible behavior take you down. You know who you are, they can try to do all the terrible things they want. They will never break your spirit! <BR>Stay strong!<BR>Lisa

Dana,<P>Just when you thought you knew someone. Hang in there and maitain your even head, there are no winners in divorce but you will be the better person. Let him be the one to lose thier cool. Things will turn out close to how you plan, I can feel it.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Dana,<P>Let it go to court. You are both legally entitled to half of everything and this includes him being repsonsible for the debt.<P>He was just trying to play the big shot in front of ow. There is no way he would want to drag this out for 3 yrs. I would imagine ow would give him the boot if it takes that long.<P>As for him continuously paging you and driving past your home, this could be considered stalking. He is trying to intimidate you. Check with your attorney about a court order to stop this.<P>Best of luck and God Bless<P>Bob

I dno't have much to add. My wife and I are trying to do this without going to court. We are meeting tomorrow to try to come to some agreement.<P>I am just reminded of something my best friend told me while he was divorcing my sister, "You never know your spouse until you divorce him/her."<P>How true.<P>Let it go to court.

<B> Mitzi </B> THanks for all the emails , your the best honey ! <P><B> Lisa </B> Thanks for the support, please let me know how the contempt charges go, I am curious to if this really includes jail time. <P><B> Bill </B> As always thanks for your continued support <P><B> Bob </B> I agree, he must have turned the "jerk o meter" up full blast with OW there. If I were her, I'd have to wonder what kind of person really would do this to his wife and mother of kids after ten years. She can kiss her ring good bye as long as this drags out, so I am sure, she'll get involved and push him to settle. <P><B> Grandpabri </B> I wish you the best in your attempt to keep your situation at a much better level than what a lot of us go through. Thanks for the qoute, I think I will keep it!!! <P>I had a bad night last night, mainly because I have not heard my stbx insulting me that badly since he lived here, but at least he reminded me <B> AGAIN </B> how lucky I am to have the opportunity to go on to a much happier life.<P>We all go through rough times in life. I feel I had my share, but this has to be the worst thing I have ever went thru , besides a death. Tis experience , has taught me a lot, and I know life can't get that much worse with this divorce situation and at this point, once the divorce is over, I am sure, my life will continue to improve, while EX (theres no soon to be about it, he's EX) and OW will have a lot of problems to face up to. He owes what he owes, or he goes to jail. Either way, he will face one of the two. No matter how bad it got yesterday in that waiting room , one thing I did notice, there doesn't really seem to be an affection, admiration or love that I can see between ex and OW. They always seem to be arguing whenever I see them. [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]<P>Prayers to you all, Dana<P><p>[This message has been edited by lonelymom (edited May 05, 2000).]

So sorry, Dana. Your roller coaster took off with a bang and you've had a quick, rough ride.<P>No advice for you, just do what is right.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10

Oh boy, you bring back a lot of painful memories when I read your post. I went through almost 3 years of court battles and abuse from my ex and his girlfriend. But, my ex not only did what yours is doing, he took it even further. There reached a point where his attorney's were refusing to represent him because they were so disgusted by his behavior and the mediators and judges were balling him out that he decided that it was my fault he was such an idiot and by placing all of the blame on me he decided that he wanted to destroy me and the only way he could do that was to change his mind and fight for custody. So on top of all of the other things, we went through a long and painful custody battle. He not only didn't pay his own debt but he charged up thousands and thousands of dollars on a mutual charge card and then filed bankrupcy thinking I'd be responsible for his debts. I received threats against my life, my house was robbed, egged etc...His girlfriend would even wear my clothes that she and he stold from the house to court appearances with him! I know how you feel in regards to being the worst pain you have ever endured. But, stay strong because in the end, your ex will hang him self good. Judges are not stupid and they see through all of the evil. My ex didn't stand a chance and in the end it was himself he nearly destroyed. I'm just glad his girlfriend is stuck with him and not me! Remember, when he's really angry at you it's because he's running scared knowing that he's loosing. A person that feels that they are in a good position does not run around being nasty. Divorce is also all about money and he's starting to see the light and he isn't liking it. If he really wanted to drag this out then let him. The stress that it inflicts on his relationship with the ow will most likely destroy them. Then he won't have her or his family. So, who looses?

Bonnie,<P>Its good to hear from you again. Boy your ex sounds just like mine. I sure hope he doesn't do to me, what's been done to you. Although I wouldn't put it past him.<P>My ex's lawyer has pretty much backed out too. The lawyers and mediators have told him this is ridiculous. And in the end, you are right, he will lose BIGTIME.<P>I am sorry to hear that you had such a rotten divorce. Thanks for sharing with me, so I know I don't actually so far , have the WORLD"S WORST PIECE OF CRAP EX on the face of the earth, but maybe I do have the close second. <P>Can I ask, did you get reimbursed on attorney's fees for the whole mess? Is it a little more calm around there now/? Is he still with the OW? Did you get stuck paying the debt?? You may have the insight I am looking for in this mess. <P>Prayers to all, Dana<BR>

No problem with the questions. Auh...the money part. First off, I never asked that he pay my attorney fees and even if I had it wouldn't have happened because I have a good paying job myself. I'll try and make this brief. Orig. temp cs was set. Ex was in business for himself and didn't like the amt. that it was set at. Takes a job building fences for a 1/4 of the salary and tries to get his cs reduced. Judge blows a nut at this lame attempt but in the mean time he has built up arrears. Threatens me to waive arrears and after awhile I cave and do it after begging him to stop harassing me if I do. He promises he will. I was entitled to half of his pension, which I also waived, (due to own personal feelings about entitlement on that). But, when the courts found about the bankrupcy and my now being responsible they went after his pension and I received enough from that to pay the debt off. So, the courts did make him responsible. But, this was a long process to get the money and it did hurt my credit and I was harassed by bill collectors for awhile.