I know this is not the way to start my "renewed Plan A", but OMG!!!!<P>Got a letter from my atty today. 10 minutes before H was picking up D for visitation. I should have known better than to open it before he got there. But, I opened it anyway!<P>My atty sent my interogatories 45 days ago. He finally sent them back. I know this was a huge LB, but I had to do it to protect my D and myself. I think he is hiding money.<P>Anyway, his atty writes a NASTY little note back, saying that he didn't understand why any of this was necessary; the I an EXTREMELY STUBBORN when it comes to visitation, among other things ( I didn't want to file my taxes with him for 1999), and the H is going to see that I sell the house and get a current appraisal ($300.00) for it since we can't seem to come to a settlement.<P>Oh, I have so many problems with this!!! First off, I admit that in the beginning of this mess, I was hesitant about him seeing our D. He has a major drinking problem and I frankly don't trust her with him. But, I have TOTALLU changed my mind on this, and have BENT OVER BACKWARDS to accomodate his studip schedule. At least once a week he changes his time with her; he calls at the last minute to cancel or tell me he isn't feeling well; you name it. Hell, last Sunday he called, depressed, and asked if he could come over. I said, Sure, we'd love to see you! Does this sound stubborn to you????<P>GGGGGRRRRRRRRR. I am angry right now; very angry. And, who does he think he is to tell me I have to sell the house? I've been living here, making the mortgage payment, etc. This IS mine and my D home!!!!!<P>I didn't lovebust when he came to get D, although I REALLY wanted too!! <P>Crap. I am not meant to Plan A this man.<P>Sorry this is long. I needed to vent!<P>God Bless,<P>Cheryl<P>

Hey Cee Cee,<P>First thing that comes to mind is I have a .45 and a shovel, you won't be missed. Quote of the day for me.<P>Just remember the man you see before you is not your H. He has been replaced by a cheap imitation made in Japan by under paid slave workers.<P>I know you have most recently moved into Plan A territory. Don't expect anything in return. The clone will let the real H know what is happening.<P>Reconsiliation is like carving a statue. It takes a long time to chip away the unneeded material and the results aren't fully enjoyed until the project is finished.<P>Fight the good fight!<P>Dont' worry about the lawyers, they are paid well to be [censored]. <BR>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P><p>[This message has been edited by MEDIC238 (edited May 06, 2000).]

Cheryl,<P>Medic is right...<P>...those attorneys will ruin it for everyone everytime!!!<P>Document everything...<BR>...and ignore his attorney. <P>Hey...<BR>I'm praying for strength in your Plan A<P> <P>Jim

Medic,<P>You still make me laugh!!! Thank you. How is Val? How is the progress?<P>It's out of my system now. Just needed to blow off some steam. Had a crap-filled day!<P>At any rate, I'm not going to let this get to me. I'm back on the Plan A train. <P>When he brought back D from vistiation (btw, yet another day he switched times on me at the 11th hour), I invited him over tomorrow to spend some additional time with D. He agreed. Didn't even hesitate! <P>Thanks for the smile and the giggles. I still think you missed your calling!<P><BR>Jim,<P>You are such a dear man. I know, I'm ignoring his atty and his empty, idle threats.<P>Did you talk to Lori today? Sheesh, she said the same thing about documentation. I am documenting and recording as much as I can. I do forget on occasion, but then have things like this to remind me of why I'm doing what I'm doing.<P>Thanks for the prayers.<P>Love you guys! (in a cyber sort of way )<P>Cheryl

Hey Cheryl!<P>Glad to hear you are feeling better today. Vent away girl! Boy, do I know about the crappy days. Stay focused. Remember the end result you are looking for and continue with your Plan A. I know it's tough. If only we could get Lori to put into a pill form all her positive thinking.<P>Brief update, don't want to take over your thread. Val is s l o w l y coming out of the fog. It's a long walk from Fantasyland to the parking lot. Kind of like Disney. You walk 5 miles to get to your car to exit the park. Unfortunately the park she is in doesn't have trams to make the escape faster.<P>I saw her Thursday night and she still professes her love for me. She also appologized for hurting me by seeing Brian. I must be patient and wait. Plan A my little butt off and make this a safe place to return to. My Dad used to say that wait [weight] broke the wagon. I don't know if that applies here, I just like the sound of it. This year I will not wallow in self pity. My oldest son and I have made many plans this summer. We are going there, doing this, stuff like that.<P>I used to think I wasted a year of my life waiting for her return. I have made great strides in personal growth in that time period. I am glad, as sick as that sounds, that she had the affair. I was forced to reevaluate my life and have made positive changes.<P>I can and will be a GREAT H! I only wish it will be with my Bunches! [Val]<P>Hang in there, we will all make it. I had a bad Val day yesterday as well. I really miss her, but, my aim is getting better!<P>Much love coming right back at ya.<P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

CC-got your email (boy was I glad there was no attachment.... ) anyways....<P>glad to hear you aren't giving up.<BR>tnt

Hey Cheryl,<P>I come a visitin' every so often, and was surprised to see you!!<P>Sorry you're getting jacked around by the lawyer/H... who knows who's idea it all is, you just can't trust those lawyers, ya know... which would be a good place for a lawyer joke, but I'll spare you! <P>You've done this before hon, and you are so much stronger than you even remember. <P>Take care of your darling daughter and your beautiful self!!<P>Love ya, Sheryl

Hi CeeCee -<P>Glad to see that you feel better after blowing off some steam.<P>I've got a little trick for you with this....it's hard to do at first, but once you get your mind to put it in the right perspective it will make YOUR life so much easier.....<P>SEPARATE the legal from the personal!!!<P>Treat it like a totally different animal.....<P>You and H's dealings with each other on a day-to-day basis have NOTHING to do with ANY of the legal stuff!!!<P>Lawyers are engaged to do their jobs. They will do that regardless of how you and H get along at any given moment.<P>Do not let it carry over into life!!!<P>You can do it. <P>BIG HUGS,<P>Sheba

Medic--.45, shovel & you won't be missed...LOL.<P>I was just telling someone last night that sometimes I think my H was replaced by a Russian spy and my H is going to be so PO'ed when he gets back and sees what a mess the spy has made of his life..."You did WHAT? You live WHERE and WHERE? And Lor said...HUH? Omigod."<P>I don't even have to ask if anyone else has a version of this fantasy, I know you do.<P>CEECEE--Plan A isn't for wimps, as you well know! Are you documenting the visitation, since the lawyers have questions? Good to hear from you.<P><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10

Medic-<P>I'm tryin my best to stay focused on the end result. I can hope and pray it will end up the right way!<BR>Sorry you miss Val. (Keep working on that aim ). It's so hard to keep being patient, isn't it? You said it yourself, she's slowly coming around. Give her love and understanding; she'll get there.<BR>I know you can and will be a great husband. I pray it is with Val, too!<BR>Thanks for the love!<P>TnT-<P>Did you get the latest e-mail? I attached the pics this time!!!!<BR>Nope, not giving up! Something keeps pulling me back. <BR>Thanks for all your support!<P>Sheryl-<P>You are SO right about lawyers. Oh, where would we be w/o them?????<BR>I owe you and e-mail. It's a comin'! <BR>Take care, sweetie.<BR>Love you!<P>Sheba-<P>I'm trying! I really, REALLY am! I know that this atty crap is not really related to my relationship with H, but dang, it's hard not to confuse them.<BR>I know that my problems (or at least one of them) was my confusion of this. I'm working on it; honest!<BR>The good news is, I didn't LB when he came to get D. This is a miracle. I only read that garbage 10 mins before he got there. And, believe me, I WAS upset!<BR>Thanks for the hugs. Back atcha!<P>Lor-<P>Oh, you make me laugh. Russian spy! LOL!<BR>Yep, I'm documenting as much as I can and also tape recording conversations. It sucks that I have to stoop to that level, but, well, it just sucks.<BR>Thanks for checking in on me. How are things in your world???<P>Update: H called yesterday and asked if he could come over. I said sure. Said he'd be over in about an hour. He was there in 15 mins !!<BR>Anyway, the norm for him is to stay about 45 mins to an hour, tops. He was here for almost 2 1/2 hours!!! I think that is the longest he has stayed since he left last July. <BR>We even "teased" each other a little bit!! <BR>I asked him if he wanted to stay for dinner, but said he wasn't hungry and not feeling well. I didn't push it.<BR>So, although no breakthroughs, I am letting his ACTIONS speak louder than his (and his attys) WORDS!<P>Thanks for all your support. I still need bunches of it.<P>Love,<P>Cheryl<BR>