My wife and I have been doing better due to using plan A. I am moving to Tenn. from Florida the day after tomorrow (Thur.) The sad part is that the stress has taken its toll on me. We have been doing better as friends. We even had a great lunch. I told her that even though I was leaving I still loved her and would be there if ever needed. Tonight was the last time I was going to be able to see the children before I go. Through a misunderstanding she became angry and comfrontational. She wanted the children back right then. Then she demanded them returned in the next hour to her house. I politly said no, because I did not want to fight or argue. She persued me outside and she pushed to point to where she would not let it go. I tried very hard to not fight, but I did make a hurtful comment about her learning to be truthful. Immediatly after the comment was made I felt bad. She kept pushing even though I did not want to fight. I love her very much. I wanted our last moments to benice ones. I allowed her to leave with the children, so as not to cause any problems. She then went to her OM in Tampa. Now I will not be able to see the children before I go. I called down to Tampa to explain my point of view. I was very hurt by her selfish need to get relaxed with the OM. She chose to blame the whole encounter on me. After a few minutes we were talking in an almost friendly manner. When we were done I was able to tell the children that I loved them and that I was sorry for the part I played in the afternoon. <BR>My concern is that everything that I have worked for as far as letting her know that I support and respect her feels like it all went in the garbage. I feel that she will now remember that our last moments was in a fight. Even though I did not fight back, I still share the responsibility. Is there a repair? I will see her for about 2 hours on Wednesday. Is there some type of damage control? Is telling her that I love her and that I am going to miss her going to matter. Things had gone well up to this point. I would hate to think that it is all over. What do I do when i get to Tenn? Do I still send her little notes to let he know I am thinking of her?.....or is all hope now lost?

YES!! You have HOPE! Write her a letter telling her how you feel.<P>You are a great writer, and express your feelings very well!! <P>Don't be pushy, or clingy, but just tell it like it is! <P>You sound like a good man who sees his part in the demise of your marriage... but remember, you are not responsible for her affair. That one is squarely on her shoulders!! <P>Are you going to be able to see your children after you leave? Trips home?? I sure hope so!<P>Best wishes... and write that letter! If she's waffling at all, she'll reread it over and over... your best defense!<BR><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited May 16, 2000).]

Thank you so much for your help. I needed some positive outlook, and that certainly helped!