I went to the bank around lunchtime today and spotted x's car out front. It made me nervous in that while we don't have any accounts together anymore and she uses another bank, she is the custodian on our d's account. Anyway she wasn't there so I got my money and left.<P>I decided to get something to eat at a nearby coffee shop and just as I was going in, I saw x and om heading toward the door. I turned around and left. I don't know if they saw me or not.<P>This was the first time I saw them together in public. I thought i was going to be physically ill. It took about an hour for my stomach to settle down. My son had asked me last summer what we would do if we saw them together. I don't know what I'll do if I ever she her and om with my kids all together.

RWD,<BR>I thought I was going to throw up last year when I saw my H walking to OW car at the golf course....with the biggest smile I had ever seen. <P>Of course...they just bumped into each other...and had no idea they were golfing at the same course....when there are about 3 dozen in the immediate area.<P>Just kismet I guess

Hey Bob,<P>I kind of know how you feel. It seems to be worse in a small town. Val is 12 miles away from me and has no reason to come down to "my" parts. Unfortunately I must travel in "her" parts for one of the facilities we service.<P>My trigger is a red car. She drives a red car, like you couldn't figure that out.<P>I am on the road a lot and I look at every damn RED car that goes the other way. A few months back we were heading to an area hospital and I saw a RED car that looked like hers.<P>Well, sure enough it WAS her. She called on the trucks cell phone, wondered where we were going and met us at the hospital. It was nice to see her, but, I am getting tired of being teased.<P>I understand that the OM has a RED truck so you can imagine that I stare down every damn RED truck I see.<P>You are definately not alone there Buddy.<P>Take care, I HATE RED!!!<P>Tim

Imagine having to work with your H and the OW. The company we work for is very small, only about 30 employees in our building. That was pretty darn tough. <P>It didn't last though. However, we all still work together. Except that I think that they may be starting up again. That's another reason I went to the lawyers. <BR>It's rather uncomfortable when everyone knows that your H is sleeping with the women who works in the next office. I feel I need to be the strong one and get off of the fence. Then he can date everyone who works there. <BR>Just kidding, because it does hurt.<P>I believe you made the correct move in turning away. Life is too short to have to sit in the same restaurant with the W and OM nearby.

Bob,<BR> I know,I keep waiting to run into W and BoyToy.I suppose it wouldn't do any good to scream,or make threats,or flip them off.They'll just think you're crazy,and probably will let your W or X know you're jealous.I guess I'd just shrug my shoulders,and keep on walking.I know that'd bother my W.Perhaps treating them with indifference would be the best way to go.("Oh Well,he can pay your clothing expenses now.I'm going to Hawaii!") --Murph

Tim,<BR>My x has red Saturn wagon. She seems to be the only one in town that has one though, so if I see one, I know it is her.<P>Om has and maroon 89 firebird he "built", so everytime I see one of those on the raod I have to keep both hands on the wheel to keep from swerving into it.<P><BR>One think puzzles me(well a lot of things do) but my x drives this guy around all the time. I just don't get that. I guess its just an anti-bob thing as I used to drive us around all the time.

Hey Bob,<P>It must be a girl thing. Val told me "they" would meet in a store's parking lot before going out to eat, movies and stuff [When she still lived here]. She would always drive because his truck was ratty. That's not the only thing I think is ratty! He is a construction type guy, not that there is anything wrong with that!<P>The one thing that really burns my [censored], other than a flame this high, is that I was putting brakes on her car one weekend and she asked to use my car to go see "her parents".<P>One of my guys and his W saw her and the OM in MY CAR! That RLMFSOB was driving MY CAR! Val tried to turn away and sit sideways but it was too late. There are only so many black and gold Z-28's running around with a blonde and a bob hair cut in the passenger seat! She was caught.<P>Odd twist of fate, My guys W is related to OM's X. Wouldn't this make a great movie? How would believe it?<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic

I remember my x telling me in one of our reconciliations that om yelled at her for leaning on the consol and for adjusting the vent. I guess they are not in the best of shape and would be hard to replace.<P>I keep hoping he takes my kids for a ride !!!!!

RWD,<BR>Well, that just plain sucks!<BR>I guess it is inevitable that we have to be subjected to them. My H's OW lives in Chicago. But, he flies her down here to Scottsdale every so often. I haven't run into them yet. But, when I do. I would love to just b*tch slap her!! (just kidding).<BR>I cant stand the idea of my son having to meet her. That does make me sick. He doesnt want anything to do with her. I hope my H has at least enough sense to honor our son by keeping her away. She is married and neither her nor her H has filed for D. As long as she is married and my H is married they should keep their adultery away from our son. I pray they do.<BR>I don't know what words of advise I have for you. I is just part of the garbage that we have to go through.<BR>I will pray for you that you can have the strenghth to get past all of this.<BR>Take care,<BR>Lisa<BR>

speaking of cars...<BR>H had a red miata that he just suddenly HAD to get rid of, because "people know it".<BR>im wondering what they know? that him and his blond thang drove all over the place with the top down? <BR>he had it a year, and i think i got to go in it ONCE.<BR>makes me sick.<BR>by the way, i guess i should start hanging around on this board . things are not good...

I am living in dread for the first time either I have to deal with her or I learn that he has taken the kids around her. I know it will happen as my H is impatient to move on with his life right now. He is already spending weekends with her at her place and taking her on mini vacations... so I know the dreaded moment will occur soon! My lawyer tells me that at least in Va. you can get the court to order that kids can not be exposed to pre marital sex.. i.e. they cant take the kids to a house that they are living with other person in.. they can bring that person on outings though.. the only catch is that I have to live by the same standard.. not a problem as I have a few morals... so, if you are worried about the kids ask your lawyer what they do in your state... also it sounds like your kids are older than mine.. you should talk to them about it a little.. I will bet you anything they want nothing to do with the OM... you should let them know that if they don't want to hang out somewhere with the OM that they can call you and you will come and get them... this will give them a sense of security... you should also tell them that they should make their own decision about the other person...they might have to deal with this person for a long time.. so you should do what you can to make things ok for them.. so they don't feel like they are being disloyal to you if they like this other person.. or if they at least don't hate this guy... Remember, your kids want to love both parents, regardless of right and wrong that is their instinctive urge.. so help them not be too conflicted.<P> As to your emotions.. hey.. I would hate to meet the OW in my H's life... I'm sure I would give into the urge to key her car or somethin!

Nikki,<BR>I am used to the kids being exposed to om as he and my then w moved in together within 2 weeks. She first introduced him as a room mate/friend. My kids knew immediately what was going on. During counseling my son said x and om would be getting married. That was last summer. <P>om in this case was/is married. His step daughter helped him move. His mother called my x all summer. Nice family !

Bob, I haven't seen the OM since D-Day, but I really REALLY REALLLLYYYY want to cause this man pain. I don't know how you restrain yourself; I hope the anger passes soon because I feel like going ballistic on him for two reasons:<P>1) he was a pretty good friend of mine<BR>2) he lied about their affair to my face, put on an act during the weeks that it was going on (he's as good an actor as my W), and bluntly told me he had nothing to do with it; it was all my W's idea (may be true, but oh how he is involved now).<P> As for the OP's family; I know exactly what you mean. He took my W to visit his family after they had been living together for three weeks; his mother made Easter baskets for our children. <P>OM: "Hi Mom, this is my girlfriend. She's married to one of my friends and has two children. We're having an affair; I know you and Dad will approve."<P>OM's Mom: "Oh honey, I'm so proud of you. And here I thought you'd never find someone. Here, I made some Easter baskets for her children."<P>W: "Thanks stbMIL! We've already talked about buying a house and me getting artificially inseminated since your son is sterile. I can't wait to have another baby so that my daughters can babysit him/her."<P>OM's Dad: "Well, you two are something else. It's nice to see that you're not bothered by the fact that your relationship destroyed a perfectly happy family. Now, let's all have some lemonade and not talk about anymore bad stuff."<P> Personally Bob, I'd like to line them up and slap all of them. Like you said, 'what a nice family'.<P>theo<P>(btw, I hate Jeeps; especially green ones)

Theo!!<P>I hope you meant that to be funny, 'cause it was!!! Seriously, I know it has it hurt, a lot! I am somewhat fortunate that my x in laws and I are still close (though now that I have fired him it may be a different story) and they have been behind me all along. ut there will come a time, if the affair continues that they will meet her and if my X and her get married, they will accept her, I am sure. <BR>I have not run into my X and you know who yet, his OW lives 1200 miles away and she has only been here a couple of times. My kids have met her, and that was a pill to swallow. But they have also met my friend too, so I can't say much. And it was after the D was final as well. <P>------------------<BR>Susan

Theo, your dialogue is hysterical! Are you a writer? Wish I could do dialogue like that! It's actually easy to see the whole thing acted out, like a margarine commercial, outdoor picnic table in the middle of a soft-focus meadow outside a white farmhouse surrounded by a white verandah.

Bellevue, nah, I'm not a writer; I'm just loaded with dark humor ever since.....well, you know. btw, there's a mental hospital here in Columbus called 'Bellevue'...I'm full of trivia too (bonus: Columbus, OH: Home to America's largest gay bowling league...not making that up either).<P>Sue, I wish I could fire my W and OM (out of a cannon, that is...)<P>theo<P>

Ive enjoyed this thread. I got a few good laughs (especially from Theo) Thanks for the humor. Mine wavers right now. <BR>Kris

Theo,<BR>I may have you topped in om's family.<BR>Not only did she call my then w all last summer.<P>Om's mummy: You make my son so happy, not like his current and his 3 kids and grandchildren. You are the best thing that ever happened to him, why don't you leave your h and children.<P>W/x: om makes me so happy too, he says we can vacation whenever we want and I won't have to do any yard work and we will buy a small house and I won't have to do as much house work like that mean old h of mine did. Who did he think he is agreeing with me to buy a big house, and then working to be able to afford it and saving money for the kids. I will leave all that terrible stuff and run off with your son.<P>Mummy: Oh, you two have been going through such a tuff time ruining your families lives, why don't you come down and stay with me in Fl for a week in Jan, and w/x you can bring your children and I will pay for it all.<P>W/x: My children don't want to come, but I sure do, so heck on them. I will tell them to rearrange divorce date if it interfers with vacation plans.<P>op/mummy: It sure has been long 2 months wrecking other's lives what don't you come down and go on cruise, I will pay for it .<P>W/x: Ok, my children will be on school vacation the following week, and I will have to work entire week to make up for vacation time, but so what, yes I will go on cruise and not see my children for almost 2 weeks.<P>W/x: I am tired of living in apt, but cannot afford downpaymnet on house as evil x husband is not giving me money yet that I got in settlement.<P>Om mummy: I will lend you downpayment for house and you can pay me back when you get money from evil x.<P>W/x: okay and I will move right after I get back from vacation so I do not have deal with children after vacation.<P>The above situations are all true, since their were no innocents except my kids, no names were changed !

I am not a writer either but here goes my little play...<P>Me: Is there someone else<BR>H: Yes....<BR>Me: Have you ever had sex with her<BR>H: It was never about sex<BR>Me: Our oldest graduates this year<BR>H: OUr kids will be fine<BR>Me: I can't believe this...I loved you<BR>H: I am so in love I cannot feel your pain<BR>Me: You are still atracted to me<BR>H: Yes, but we have sex, I feel like I am cheating on her<BR>Me: I have made positive changes in me<BR>H: Yes, but the changes just made me angry<BR>Me: You have just lost your way....<BR>H: No, I know the way to her house<BR>H: If my boss calls,me and o/w did not have an affair, just a close working realationship<BR>H: I am house sitting at a friends<BR>Me: So you are sleeping in her bed, feeding her dog ect<BR>H: we are just friends<BR>me: we need to do no contact, you are hurting me to much<BR>H: fine....<BR>H: I will buy condo, take son<BR>Me: I will file for divorce for custdody, put restraining order from buying condo<BR>H: I can't believe you had me served papers at work/<BR>Me: snicker snicker (you were NOT going to serve me with papers AH)<BR>H: You are in so much pain, I cannot take it any more....I will come home<BR>H: I can't do this...I need my freedom<BR>H: Please O/W dont move away from me.....<BR>H: I will leave wife, children, lose job, forget my morals, all for you........<BR>H: She has used me....I want to come home....<BR>Me: I love you unconditionally<BR>H: Oops I forgot to tell you about person I meet on the internet who is helping me to get over O/W<BR>H: she is so wise....no it is not about sex (have you heard that before?)<BR>H: Lets buy new house, get dog....<BR>H: Let's buy chow dog like O/W has<BR>H: Let's use the same vet, and train it like O/W<BR>H: I can't do this when I come back I will move in with my parents in their small two bedroom trailer, I will stay there in a pig stye bedroom, I need to get whole again, I am a nervous wreak.<BR>Me: You did not give us time...this was not going to be easy<BR>H: Who knows what the future holds for us, we will go out, more than ever ect ect<BR>Me: Fine<BR>H: Sorry I cannot meet your needs....<BR>Me: Fine<BR>H: I am going to go fishing with friends...<BR>H: I am going to lake with friends..<BR>H: This lying is getting easier and easier...they are really believing me<BR>Me and Kids: NOT...we just dont care anymore<BR>H: My checking account is overdrawn...sorry your phone got turned off, I mailed the payment too late,,, can you pay gas bill, I mailed it too late too....My stock in going down......<BR>Me: Who cares...I dont need it to buy condo...<P>I did not add my MIL and how she trashed me. This could be really funny if it was not true<BR>