I was married to the father of my 2 children for 13 years. Although things were not perfect, we did have a very close relationship most of the time.
<p>About 12 years into the marriage things began to change. We didn't get along very well. At the time I didn't understand why. Our arguments became constant. But I later learned (after we split up) that my husband was having an affair.
<p>Anyway, we divorced. My first relationship was my rebound relationship. I married my rebound relationship. Now I am in a very unhappy marriage, my ex-husband is trying to get me to leave my present husband and come back with him. I do feel that we could be happy together again, we feel that he knows, and I know what happened, and can fix what went wrong before.
<p>As I said my present marriage is much less than perfect. We've gone to counseling through the church. Nothing works for very long. Should I go with the man I love, or honor my marriage vows and stay in an unhappy home?
<p>In response keep in mind,a reconcile with my ex would mean my children having their family back together.
<p>?????
<br>

Brenda,
<p> I know that you are seeing the "positives" of trying to put your old back together - ironically, this might work out.
<p>However, I think you owe it to your present husband to do your absolute best to make THIS marriage work. You're willing to work to put the old marriage back together, so be willing to work (even harder!) to make THIS one work.
<p>Have you approached your current husband and openly shared your feelings about the state of your current marriage? Have you gone to professional counseling, or read Dr. Harley's book together? Do you have reason to believe that your "old" marriage would be easier to fix than your "new" marriage? What if you went back and remarried and 6 months later, the marriage fell apart again?
<p>(Didn't mean to give you more questions than answers, but you may need to serriously ask yourself these things.)
<p>Finally, you mention the kids. Wouldn't it be almost as good if you and your ex-husband (and families) could just be friends?
<p>I know it may look attractive to put your old marriage back together, but you have a commitment to your current husband, and he has one to you. Don't give up on this one 'til you can honestly say you've both done your best!
<p>Val

Val,
<p>You are absolutely correct. I have had these thoughts in my mind for sometime. Yesterday when I posted this ??, I really had questions in my mind about what God wants me to do. I wasn't sure what God's will was in this case. I know what the bible says about these things, and that is I am married to my husband, and that is that!!
<p>However, what I wasn't sure about was if the good Lord saw my children's father as my TRUE HUSBAND in the eyes of the Lord.
<p>I am a very spiritual person and felt convicted. I did receive a very clear message from God yesterday, as well as this morning. He wants me with my (present) husband and to give it everything I have to make it better with prayer and the word of God.
<p>So I say you are sooo right Val. Thank you for your wise input. God also put you into my path to help me go into the right direction.
<p>God Bless You.
<p>Subject closed
<p>Love,
<br>Brenda

Way to go Brenda!
<p>If you haven't already, check out some of the articles and books availalable on this site. They are great! I'm glad you're relying on God for help! (It's a lot better than wishing people "good luck"!)
<p>Val