It has been a few months since my last posting here...and I came back tonight only to see several familiar names still on this board. I filed for divorce back in January because my wife wouldn't STOP having her affair with the OM. To this day, she still hasn't stopped seeing him. We are separated since March, and I have been through all of the standard emotions...anger, hate, fear, love, resentment, etc. <P>The reason I posted tonight was to proclaim that I finally found out what CAN make a difference when a person faces hard times...faith in GOD! I feel like I have been wandering aimlessly for months, and back in April I went on a Christian retreat, and my life will never be the same. I now have a new perspective, and I pray every day for the strength to accept God's will for me, my wife and my children.<P>So is my personal situation any closer to being resolved? No, not hardly. But will I survive this with my faith intact, and with a willingness to be a great father to my children? You betcha...<P>So if you find yourself wanting to pull the plug, and you are at the end of your rope, take my advice and LOOK UP! Someone just may be looking down at you...and say a prayer, it just might be answered.<P>MJINGIT

MJINGIT,<P>Hooray!<P>You're at where I was 6 months ago! It is the healthiest (in mind, body and soul) revelation you will have.<P>They were my words exactly... <B>to accept God's will for me</B>!<P>Let me tell you...<BR>...you still will ask yourself... "why?"...<BR>...you still will think... "it could work out"...<BR>...you still will say... "I don't understand it"...<P>but... leaving it at the foot of God...<BR>...and letting His love to take over all of you... will set you free...<BR>free... from depression<BR>free... from anger<BR>free... from future sin!<P>Prayers for you brother... <P>Jim

Jim - you are so right...I needed to be released from the anger and resentment because I did not like where it was leading me. I will always wonder how my spouse could have become so lost, willing to risk her whole family over another person because he makes her feel good at THIS moment. She even knows those feelings won't last...but she is heading that way with him anyway. <P>A good bit of news is that she is headed to a women's retreat this coming weekend, and if God is willing, maybe she will receive a sign or message. But if is not his wil for her (or for me), I am ready to accept what the future holds for me...whatever it might be. <P>Thank you for the prayers, and know that I keep EVERY member of this message board in MY prayers. An experience of this type has to be one of the hardest things we can face on this earth...but one of my favorite sayings is, "if it doesn't kill me, it can only make me stronger!".<P>

I was in anger for a couple of days.. I knew it was not good for me but I couldn't control my feelings, and kept pushing these thoughts and other "angry" thoughts came to me.<BR>so I prayed, and asked God to help me to feel good, then couple of memories which wasn't very pleasant(one was when my H told me he wanted separation) then I realized something I never realized then!! And I understood why he said certain things then.. then I got a hope from them. I really believe God showed me something to make me realize, and I'm very thankful..<BR>MF

M,<P>It is God's miracle that I got through all this too. When I first discovered x's affair I didn't know where to turn. I thought I was going to explode.<P>Someone recommended a minister to me and I went and saw him. He told me he couldn't do anything for my marriage, but said he could help me if I wanted the Lord to come into my life. I said yes I do and we prayed, and the burden was lifted.<P>Without the Lord, I think I would have gone crazy. Now when I look back and see some of the turmoil in my attempted recovery, I see that I was trying to control things myself. But when their were problems and I turned them over to the Lord, things turned out okay.<P>I am not as active in seeking the Lord now as I was about a year ago, as I have let the "world" back into my life, but for being freshly divorced I think me and the kids are doing very well.<P>God's Blessings to you.<P>Bob