711,<BR>No harm, no foul. I just didn't want you to scare off any prospects out here ! <P>Bob<p>[This message has been edited by RWD (edited June 03, 2000).]

Murph,<P>Now who turned who down flat!!!??? I believe it was you who came up with all the excuses! <P>Mitzi

Mitzi,<BR> AHA!!YOU ARE LURKING!I knew I could bring you out of the woodwork with a comment like that! How's your weekend going?<BR> --Murph

Murph,<P>No, I'm not lurking. I'm posting when I get the chance or when I have news to post.<P>Actually I just got home from working 14 hours. I only have to work 7 tomorrow so that will be a lot better! So, basically I've had no weekend! LOL My weekend will be Monday and Tuesday, my only days off this week. But I don't mind. I love my job. <P>What's going on with you?<P>Mitzi

Mitzi,<BR> You must be up pretty late(10PM here).Those sound like long hours;don't think this bum could handle it.But I guess you must not mind if you love your job.<BR> It was real nice out today.Upper 70's,which feels hot here!I worked around the house,and yard,then went for a nice drive.<BR> I'm taking my sister and her kids to one of the nice zoos here tomorrow.We usually have a good time together.Last year,we all went to Florida.The kids and I hit all the rides,and had a lot of fun.<BR> Well,you better get your beauty-sleep.Have a great day tomorrow.<BR> --Murph

So this is where everybody is. Gosh darn it Bob. You would tempt me with that one while I was away for the day. <P>Interesting subject matter. Wide spectrum of opinions and thought patterns.<P>I guess it would really matter what your definition is of a "date". I went out a few times with an XGF. It was to dinner, a day walking around in Peddlers Village [younger son went along as well], a movie and watching TV here.<P>I don't believe they were considered dates. We both knew ahead of time "nothing" was going to happen. I wasn't trying to romance her or get her in the sack. We didn't hold hand, hug or kiss. <P>I have been told that I could have done these things with a male friend as well. Yeah, probably with the exception of the movie. It was one of those tear jerkers. Sorry, I may have messed up two marriages, but I still like women. I wanted some female companionship. That's all.<P>Great thread BTW<BR><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic

Murphy,<P>You gave some great advise to the student. We women sometimes have to be reminded that just because our spouses jilted us doesn't mean every man will. You are obviously a great guy and im sure one day you will meet your gal.<P>Speaking of meeting, I am going to the local zoo tommorrow too. We could both be there and not even know it. Isn't life freaky that way. My boyfriend and I are taking my 10 year old daughter. I am looking forward to another beautiful day here. Have fun and I will too.<P>Gerri

Hey Murphy,<BR>You might have to follow through on that one, cause my parents live in Seattle. My dad works at Boeing. <P>Thanks for the encouragement folks. There are probably other reasons why I want to be single right now, and getting on the pity-potty goes along way towards keeping me that way. I was hopeful before I met my second H, and look where that ended up. The times I've been my strongest and content with myself was when I was single. Being in a relationship makes me insecure, needy, and prone to sacrificing way,way too much. <BR>

RWD: Glad there are no hard feelings. <BR>

The Student,<P>Is it being in a relationship? or being in a married relationship? There may be a difference.<P>You may be a candidate for an exclusive, non binding relationship with someone whom you don't need to see everyday. I know some women in that type. <P>Two at work.<P>One has a BF she sees once a month. The other is an executive secretary who travels with her executive, but thats all.<P>find out what REALLY works for you, and then live with it. It may NOT be marriage!<P>thl<BR>

Murph,<BR> It seems The Student has taken my place! <P>Hey Bob! Since Murph has dumped me, does the offer still stand? <P>Mitzi

Mitzi,<BR> No,I'm not dumping you,I'm just playing the field!I thought I better brush up on my relationship skills,if I'm going to be a swinging single again.I haven't dated for about 25 years- Scary,ain't it?<BR> How was your weekend? --Murph

Murph,<P>I haven't dated in 14 years! And I'm only 31. THAT'S scary!<P>My weekend was long and tiring! I sat with a lady today who is mentally retarded, has scoliosis and has cerebral palsy. Plus her roommate who is profoundly retarded and has epilepsy. The first lady is in a wheelchair and I hurt my back trying to get her up. YUK! So I need my 2 days off to recoup! <P>How was the zoo?<P>Mitzi

Mitzi,<BR> My sister's boy got sick,so we're going to do the zoo next weekend.It was real nice here today,so sis and I took our dogs up to this huge off-leash park they have in Seattle.Lots of dogs hitting the water.Right now,my dog's out like a light.<BR> Sounds like you need to break out the Ben-Gay for your back.You must be a very compassionate person to do the work you do;a lot of people wouldn't like that line of work. <BR> Have a great weekend!<BR> --Murph

Murph,<P>Sorry you didn't make it to the zoo. It sounds like it would have been a great day for it too!<P>I love my job! I never thought I would like working but it is so rewarding. We are helping disabled people live on their own so that they don't have to be institutionalized. The ladies I worked with today are the worst ones I will hae to work with. Most of the others are only mildly retarded and able to do alot for themselves. <P>Have you heard anything back from your W about the divorce papers yet?<P>Have a good week.<P>Mitzi

Mitzi,<BR> Nothing yet on D papers,not that I'm sitting on pins and needles anymore.As long as I can keep my house and savings,I'll be happy(well,sort of).<BR> That's great that you love your job.The Student(my other girlfriend)said her father works at the Boeing Co.That's where I work,only we still call it the Lazy B.Great pay,good benefits,and you don't work that hard,but it's still just a job.If I quit tomorrow,I wouldn't miss it(the pay,maybe).<BR> But most people manage to retire at 55-60,so there's a lot to be said for that.<BR> But,I still envy people who love their job.Maybe if I get"downsized"from Boeing one of these days,I'll look for something that I love to do.Can you get paid for laying on the beach? <BR> --Murph

711,<P>I go away for one day and your post doubles!!!! Wow!<P>To New Beginning, Sue and Limerick : I agree with your views on this subject.<P>To Murphy : Good advice to The Student and could U and Mitzi start a NEW THREAD!! I can't keep up anymore. <P>TO Mitzi : I hadn't dated in a long time either, probably most of us had not when this affair was thrown into your lap. I hate to say it , but it reminded me of a job interview!!!! And similar to that, after you go thru enough of them, its really much easier <P>To Bob : Good luck with Angela<P>To Student : I seem to remember this topic under General Questions a few months ago and it sure sparked a lot of controversy. There is no such thing as a Two time loser. How do you call the first time as you being a loser, I recall, that ex was pretty bad. I don't think ANY of us here are losers. Sad to say, not even the "betrayers". We are all human. We all make mistakes. The honest truth is even us , as betrayed, made mistakes. I'll be the first to admit it. However, truly, in some cases, we attract the same type of people over and over. (UGHH). Also, some people just aren't compatible. When we're younger, we get caught up in all the romance, and excitement. After going thru what we all have here, its safe to say, we know we want different things now than we did even 5-10 years ago. You deserve happiness as we all do, and when the time is right, you'll find someone who you will feel comfortable with. Being divorced twice, well, there are worse skeletons out there than that. It just takes us all a different amount of time to heal, well, not even heal, I think those of us who were betrayed, will never fully heal completely, but we sure are wiser.<P>To 711 - Its just one date, its not the end of the world. Take it slow, keep it fun and you'll do great! You might meet a few losers along the way (like I did) but keep it in persepective. I'd tell you to keep us posted, but I can't read thru another 100 posts!!!!<P>Prayers and hugs to all <BR>Dana<BR>

I was busy all weekend aand look at this thread!!<P>Dana, <BR>I had not dated for 18 yrs myself...though I was 28 when I got married and did a lot before that. But your comment about what you want out of a relationship I believe does change somewhat over the years. My X was a lot of fun, we were always going somewhere, alway flying by the seat of our pants, so to speak....<BR>But now I want a more stable relationship...someone to share my home with who has pride in it, enjoys barbequing at home, spending time at home, more quiet times, I guess. I want more maturity in my next relationship. <BR>My x was not mature...never....I was the mother in that relationship..to all. <P>------------------<BR>Susan

Well I think Murph and Mitzi contributed to the length of this post.<P>Thanks again everyone for all the advice.<P>I realize that there are so many ways at looking at something that in the end you just have to go with your gut instinct. So, here I go! <P>

711,<P> sorry! But I did start my own thread. (Dana told me to! )<P>I say, GO FOR IT!! And good luck too!<P>Mitzi