whenifindthetime,<P>hate to blow your cover, but I can usually tell when I guy is checking out the side and rear view. <P>My peripheral vision detects the side glance, and of course, the rear glance follows the side glance. Once or twice I've spun around quickly to see if they're heads are cranked around. Sure enough...<P>My rear view (hate to brag) is exceptionally fine, though. Swedish bubble butt, and pretty solid from all that running. So I can't blame them. Black men are the funniest. You can usually hear them say something like, "Whew-we. White girl's got some back". LOL. What's even funnier is that I used to come home crying about my butt when I was a little girl. Used to get teased about it all of the time by both boys and girls. Probably like alot of girls get teased about their early developing chests. Lucky me, I was a late bloomer in that dept.<P>Oh, you should never trust a woman with sunglasses on either. Especially at a road race with all those buff (I don't care if they are gay) shirtless men running around with their little jogging shorts. Swim practice at my university is great too. Most of them are built like Greg Louganis (sp?). Yea, I know, he's gay too...I get there, do about a half hour of laps, which is about the right time to catch them leaving. They all "parade" right past me. <P><BR>honey.west,<BR>Just my humble opinion, but any extra fuss (manicure, hairdo,accessories,expensive clothes) usually screams out "high-maintenance". Most guys I know prefer light makeup, an attractive but not fussy hairdo, and minimal accessories (i.e. small earrings and perhaps one small necklace for everyday). On the other hand, most guys I know are engineers and way practical. When they aren't hitting the books, their requirements usually include having two legs and being female. Ha,ha.<P>The guy I dated briefly thought I looked "hot" in a little crop top and drawstring sweat pants. Go figure. My ex loved the "frau" dress I'd wear around, and was a big fan of tank tops and boxer shorts or jeans on me. I do tend to pick guys who prefer low maintenance, cause I'm definately a low maintenance gal. <BR><p>[This message has been edited by TheStudent (edited July 16, 2000).]

Well I see what I thought was lighthearted sarcasm was misinterpreted. <P>Discovered in my twenties that alot of fuss didn't really matter. But try telling that to any teenage girl primping before running out to the store "in case someone sees her." But then I was lucky enough to be blessed with nice features, good bone structure, and excellent proportions, so have always attracted attention, whether schlepping around without makeup or dressed to kill for an evening out.<P>I've discovered men like women who look right in any setting, and know when to be natural and when to go all out.<P>Even luckier to have figured out young that while looks are important to attact someone initially, you better have something to back it up. <P>

Well, it's good to know that I don't have to always deal with all those little details that I don't always do so well.<P>Took my measurements the other day - for the first time in a couple of years. During the past year, I've lost a sizable chunk of weight - don't know how much - but enough that almost none of my clothes fit well and I don't have the money to replace them so this is a problem. I was thrilled to see that, though they're bigger than I wish, my hips are smaller, despite 2 children, than they were 15 years ago. Waist is a little bigger but the proportions still aren't bad!<BR>Especially for a woman approaching mid40s!<P>What about a great smile? Where does it rank?

Hi Cinderella,<P>If what I hear is true, a great smile is very important. <P>I think you and I may be pretty similar from what I've read. Funny how you take things for granted when you are younger - like a nice figure - but age and childbearing do take their toll. I don't have to do too much as far as overall exercise - carrying toddlers and yardwork have given me a kind of sculpted look now that I didn't have when I was younger. But running again has done wonders for me - both physically and emotionally. I am much more confident of my appearance now than when I was in my twenties and had the advantage of youthful muscle tone. And that, I think is another thing men notice, and appreciate - a woman who is secure in her appearance. <P>So stay fit, and dazzle them with your smile.

While I'm certainly not well toned, I'm not too squishy. The 10-20 lbs. I lost due to stess this year - not the divorce diet - just stress - haven't hurt.<P>

Does a pretty face count for anything?

Wife is currently shacked up with someone that she met right here on MB. I sent her here to rebuild our marriage! She had sex with this man on the first meeting and now meets him at some motel every chance they can get( She is in Phila and he in Boston ).They both are still married, wife thinks it is perfectly OK since she has filed for divorce. Court doesn't care either.<BR>I was the one betrayed and now I have had to leave my home and children, I still get to pay all of the bills plus my own for my lodgings now, and will probably lose all that I have worked for my enyire life and maybe get to see my kids occasionally. This sucks. Especially since I am hung up on honoring my marriage vows. I would have taken her back until today. I realize that she might stop seeing this fellow,but, it has finally sunk in that they can never be any trust again.

Can't top that. I was the betrayed. Got dealt a bum deal in the settlement. Got to buy out his part of the house and pay off his bills all so I could refinance the house in my name - and I had no job and hadn't worked in 8 years. <P>But right now I'm going through what must be a chastisement by God. Financially things have been dicey for me for five years. Right now bad things are happening and my financial status is deteriorating. Strange thing is - I think God is trying to get my attention. I've been dating a man who seems so wonderful but lust is getting in the way. It seems obvious to me that I have to get a grip on the relationship or go down the tubes. Not even with my x did I feel like this? <P>Why is it so hard to focus on what's to be found from the neck up instead of from the neck down? I guess I'm going to have to carry a fire extenquisher. I like this man enough to do it. Can you beat intelligent, articulate, sense of humor, attractive, kind, and knows how to operate a female body?<BR>I'm so disappointed in myself.

oops - posted it twice<BR><p>[This message has been edited by cinderella (edited July 24, 2000).]