I had the weekend from he!!. What a way to start a post. 15 years ago on Memorial Day weekend, my H and I got married. For years I begged him to take time off from work so we could go on a special trip on our anniversay - just the two of us. He never would. He always said he didn't like taking special time off because it made him seem like a whiner. But this weekend he took the OW on a special Memorial Day weekend get-away. I am feeling so cheated. Why could he never do that for me? And, at this point, why do I care? I thought I was making progress, moving forward with my life, but today I just feel mired in the same old mess. Why does it have to feel this way? Why did he have to take her THIS weekend? Of course, on my birthday, he took her to California for a little vacation. Do you guys think he's doing this stuff on purpose? Is it just to hurt me? Cause he's succeeding. I didn't think I could feel any lower, but I do. When will I be able to let go of this? That's all I want - a little peace and joy and happiness. I want to not care what he's doing with her anymore. But I can't seem to let it go. I just feel stuck. <P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

Keridwen,<BR>I feel for you so much...the trueth is that your H like mine, is so out of control intheir lives, that theyy are trying their very best to flaunt in our faces (they KNOW which triggers to push to enrage us) that they are happy with their choices.<P>It takes a very long time, and it is far from getting anywhere near better and I am mired in H's everyday actions where he gets to me in the only way I still care about his life....he gets to me through his inappropriate parenting with the teens .<P>One day this will end...when the youngest is far from home and his controlling manipulation and passive and aggressive behaviour...until then I have to hang in here to provide some morals and values for my kids...this is my choice, but everyday I get up and am ready to pack it all in...why should I bust my a@@ when he continues to damage them in ways which are so inviduous and there is nothing I can do really except be the foil...which does not help me, but hopefully will give some balance to the kids.<P>Your H would have chosen any other weekend...this was to get at you as well as get away for the long weekend...it was planned...H knows this means a lot to you, ow does not, so it is your H....see his lofe for what it truly is...what does he have...IMHO a pathetic existence where hurting you is what his relationship is in part defined by.

I know how you feel. My H does all the wonderful things with the OW that he would never do with me. Travel is one of my biggest complaints. She was after all his travel agent for work related trips! My consolation is that after 23 years I know him well enough to understand that these trips and great things he does with her now are not his true nature. The power of lust makes him do things for now, but eventually she will get the same negative response from him that I got for so many years. My best defense has been to start doing all the things I wanted to do with my H with my children or my friends. Living life the best I can is the great revenge, I think.<P>------------------<BR>