<BR>hello everyone,<BR>im hoping you can help. im stuck in a situation where i applied for a divorce after i caught h and ow. then we agreed to work it out so we called it off then as months went by my feelings didnt matter to him, so i take it that way. i didnt see any reason with him being friends with ow and believed it was more. he said i cant choose his friends and if he couldnt be friends with her then he'll walk. so i couldnt handle the friendship with them to expecially knowing they slept together alot and still see each other and talk so i restarted my divorce. now he doesnt want it and is willing to change he says but everyone thinks i should still go through with it and shouldnt cancel again. he's been good so far and actually doing things with me and little one.should i stop the divorce or just go through with it. tired of being left hanging and starting and stopping the divorce but i cant handle the friendship of those to neither. the ow is also harassing me what should i do.s

My advice would be to get both of you into counseling and for him to end all contact with OW. If he is not willing to end contact, an affair will only continue. The fact that OW is harrasing you may be a sign that the A is over.

I sounds like you need to read up on Basic concepts section. Try talking to H about this. He absolutely must cut off contact with OW if it is to work. If he does, continue with a POJA, fill out the EN questionnaire and the LB questionnaire and work together. If he will not make the effort and will not break all ties with the OW, try reading up on Plan A and Plan B section, then go into Plan A mode. You will need to think this through. It can really help. I don't know if it can save your marriage, but as mine seems to be falling apart, it sure gives me a lot of hope and encouragement. Good luck. This will be a long hard road, but you can do it. You are already on the right track to let him try to make it work. Just remember the A happened because there were needs of his that weren't being fulfilled, so just be sure to look at the EN questionnaire and try to get him to fill it out. Tell him that you really want to work on your marriage and would like his help to get back on solid ground. Keep posting, your doing great.