To Terri, Steve, and all of those who have tried to help me:
<p>I won't repeat my story (see counseling) but suffice it to say that things are a little better for me. My wife still hasn't come home, but she has given me a little bit of light at the end of this long and dark tunnel.
<p>Last week, while she was over, out of the blue she said, "maybe when we can afford it we can find a counselor and see if we can get things out in the open, and maybe we can get a bigger house and start again."
<p>Sweeter words were never heard by these ears. She has been coming over everyday as usual, but I've been doing things a little different. I don't make comments that may be mistaken by her. I don't try and talk her into doing things that she has refused to do in the past, such as talk about our problems. Basically, I finally managed to reach that acceptance stage, and I believe she could see it. I went a step further, and made a real effort to be the person she fell in love with.
<p>Maybe, just maybe , we can begin to heal, but if not then I at least know that I have done everything I could to repair what I had a part in tearing down.
<p>Again, many thanks to all of you who have lent me as ear, or offered words of encouragement and advice.
<p>I send you all prayers and good wishes.
<p>In Friendship.
<p>John_98

John,
<p>GO JOHN! GO JOHN! GO JOHN!

Keep the faith! My prayers are with you!
<p>terri

John,
<p>I am so happy for you. Keep up the good work and keep your patience. Remember to vent here and things will go smoother. My prayers are with you as always.
<p>Steph

Dear Steph, Terri, Bruce and all the others,
<p>Things are still looking up in a lot of ways, but I still have some apprehension. Just as a reference point, I am expecting a sum of money which she is aware of. Since the time is getting closer, And in some of our talks, I made it known that I would do anything to make our marriage work, but when the time came and we weren't back together, I had plans to relocate with the kids. I explained that I couldn't continue to live in the same town, apart. We live in a very small town and it would be very difficult for me. Having said all that, it wasn't too long before she started talking about counseling (something she refused to do for so long) and about maybe getting a bigger house, etc. My question is this, Is she finally working through her problems, and realizing that this seperation has gone on long enough, or is there something else going on? Am I being paranoid or am I justified in my doubts?
<br>I now realize that her 12 step program and her SPONSOR are a part of her life and I gladly accept that, and I look forward to rebuildiing our marriage of 23+ years, but I am hoping that counseling can help me with the doubts.
<p>Many thanks to all, and any more thoughts woould be appreciated.
<p>Peace
<p>John

John,
<p>I wouldn't try to analyze why she is willing to try counseling. Just wait until you go because if there is an alterior motive it will come out. Not much can be hidden if you have the right therapist. Keep the hope John, keep the love. Good luck. My prayers are with you.
<p>Steph