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Joined: Oct 1998
Posts: 2,075
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Joined: Oct 1998
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I posted this same question under the infidelity topic, where I post most of the time, but wanted to maximize my options by posting here, too.
<p>In one of our discussions, my H said that he might be willing to go on vacation with me, even though he is not severing his relationship with the OW, and even though he is still determined to move out.
<p>I am kind of excited about this, as he knows that I want this to be part of an attempt to work on our relationship. Therefore, as I'm sure you can understand, I want this to be as strong of a tool as possible - offering the best opportunity for romance and love as possible.
<p>I am looking at two destinations right now. We have always dreamed of a vacation to Hawaii, and airfares to Honolulu are relatively reasonable at this time. My parents, who have been there, tell me that it is possible to make relatively inexpensive "hops" to the other islands as well, and I have the opportunity for some relatively cheap lodgings there. It would still be an expensive trip, but it would be a dream of ours.
<p>On the other hand, we could go back to Kissimee, FL (Orlando) where we spent our honeymoon as well as several other fun and loving vacations. The airfare is very cheap (especially compared to Hawaii) and I have the same opportunity for inexpensive lodging there as well. There would be more money available to do different things, like Disney, etc. and we have always enjoyed those kinds of things together.
<p>Does anyone have any suggestions on this? He hasn't really said much about it, other than when I asked him about where he would want to go if he could go anywhere, he did say Hawaii. I'm torn between doing the dream vacation in Hawaii and trying to recreate some of the best moments of our love in Kissimmee.
<p>Help?
<p>terri

Joined: Dec 1969
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Terri,
<br>In looking at it from a practical point of view, I would consider finances first. Your going on the vacation not so much as to do "things" but rather to re-discover each other, or rather, what it was that made the two of you fall in love originally. If you are trying to re-create history, I find that, it is often anti-climactic. Expectations are often at unreachable levels and not to sound cliche, but it's never as good as the first time. Hawaii may offer a new twist on things however, especially since neither of you have been there. In that case, I would probably cough it up and go that route w/the rationale "you only live once..." I think your case is a difficult one. But I feel that a serene, stress free environment will be condusive to the type of focus on your relationship that it needs. That's my two cents for what its worth. Good luck for both of you. ~Tom


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