Hey Guys,<BR>I just found this in my email.... (I'm about half way through what came in while I was gone...only about 150 more to go ). Anyway, I thought it was fitting for this thread...<P><BR>The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone called 911. <P>When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint.<P>"It was enough to make anybody faint," he said. "My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower." <P>Who brought up housework??? I don't even want to think about housework..... my house looks like a tornado hit it. I'm still trying to clean up the mess from packing to leave, and do all the laundry I came home with. Hey, anyone want to come over and help me?? or at least keep me company .<P>See ya'll tomorrow.<BR>Smooches,<BR>B

Murph,<P>The dog is at the vet's!!! I actually don't like doing this to her, but she'd end up pregnant soon. And she's just a little beagle and all the male dogs around here are BIG! I'm afraid the puppies would be too big for her. <P>Live and let breed! LOL Isn't that a James Bond movie??!! LOL LOL LOL<P>Jodie

Jodie,<BR> Weather's pretty nice here,how about there?<BR> You know,if you put a chastity belt on your dog,you wouldn't have a problem!<P> Funny you should mention James Bond.I do look a little like Pierce Brosnan,Roger Moore,and Sean Connery all rolled into one.<BR> You do believe me,don't you?<P> ~~Murph/Shakennotstirred

[censored],<P>not funny.........tee hee<P>I'm blonde and a flight attendant........<BR>and gee, I've never heard that one before...................................................................................<P>Thanks so much for springing for an airfare for Murph, what a guy you are. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.<P>Murph - let me know the dates, and I'll check my roster. You may have to check out downtown Brisvegas on your own for a little bit, but it shouldn't take too long.......<P>I am so disparaging about Brisbane, but I really am beginning to like it. I guess after Sydney and Melbourne, it's a LITTE BIT QUIET up here. Try getting a cofffeee after 10pm and see how you like it when they tell they don't get paid overtime, so sorry, they can't serve you.... HHEEEEELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO,<BR>is this the outback here, the back of the black stump........<BR>I thought Brisbane was the capital city of a happening booming tourist state.??<P>well, that's my beef for today. Also bear in mind that I do live here, I'm not moving anywhere else again, and I do like it. It's just a bit of fun to poke fun at the folks up here who do things a little differently, and a little more slowly.......<BR>OOOPPPs. there I go again. Can't help myself.<P>love and hugs to all you guys, what a read.<BR>Is there a prize for the 2000th?????<P>Jo/bonnet, not daisy!!!!!!!!!!!

Bonnet Jo,<BR> Guess I had better read up on Australia if [censored] is going to fly me there.What is the time difference there compared to the States?<BR>Are those kangaroos really violent?<BR>When you're upside down under,does it feel different when you put your pants on? <P> We're working on the prize for #2000!<P> Have a G'day <P> ~~Murph/Rightsideup<BR> <p>[This message has been edited by Murphy (edited July 11, 2000).]

OOPPSSSSSS.......double post<P>But I have to say, it's tough because this thread is sooooooooooooooooooooooo long and it's hard to tell if anything posted at all!!<P> <p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited July 11, 2000).]

Hi Kids,<P>Keep up the good work!! <P>Just driving through...<P>

Good Morning to All!<P>Only 850+ more to go to hit 2k - might be awhile!<P>Bonnet<P>So you're a blonde flight attendant? Hope I didn't offend you with the joke....thanks for joining in.<P>Sorry, but I don't have any jokes for the moment (sorry Murph!)<P>Have a great day and keep those posts coming!<P>[censored] from Texas<P>

Murphy- Back in the days when all the women thought Tom Selleck (Magnum, P.I.) was the best looking man in Hollywood, I knew they were wrong. Pierce Brosnan - without a doubt.<P>As for Oz - been there. It was wonderful except for the nearly getting killed and having to cut the trip short to come home for orthopaedic surgery. But my daughter has a fine name as the result of the experience. Not that anyone can pronounce it correctly. (Instead of wanting people to call her Gillian - pronounced the Aussie way like Gilbert gathers green gardenias - she wants people to call her Jo after the character in "Little Women")

She was so blonde that she studied for a blood test and failed!<P>......so blonde that it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes!<P>[censored] from Texas

She was so blonde that:<P>She studied for a blood test and failed!<P>It takes her 2 hours to watch '60 Minutes'<P><BR>[censored] from Texas

Sorry for the 'double-post'<P>D from T

[censored],<BR>I didn't know you had to study for a blood test.... I'm in trouble! <P><B>Mitz,<BR>Hate to interupt this mega thread, but there is a new poster, and I think you could really help her. Her nick is notagain, and the thread was posted today on this section. "Need advice RE: Second Divorce Imminant" I think was the thread.</B><P>Sorry I haven't been contributing much to the race for 2K, but I've been busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest! I'm going to relax tonight for a while and play some golf (if it doesn't rain), and then I'll check in for the late night chat.<P>See ya'll later!<BR>Busty<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

Butterfly<P>You mentioned you were going to 'shoot some golf' this evening......<P>I didn't know they were 'in season'<P>The last time I played golf, I shot an even 70.....(not bad for 3 holes, huh?)<P>See ya' later....<P>[censored] from Texas

[censored],<BR> <BR>How can it possibly take someone 2 hours to watch'60 Minutes'?<P> It only takes me 1 1/2 hours!<P> ~~Murph <P>

Hi guys,<P>you are all so wacky!!!<P>I have a question for you all, what's a june bug? Why are they so scary? What's a chigger?<P>Murph - I think the time difference is about 12 hours, when it's midday here, it's midnight there. Roughly that, anyway. Yep, kangaroos sure can be violent. There was a kangaroo attack on a golf course last year (if you can believe that). A little boy went to get his father's lost ball, and the kangaroo attacked him. They do actually kick with their big powerful hind legs, and almost 'punch' with their front little legs (arms?). Must have been a grumpy old thing. Maybe my FIL in disguise!!!!!! Doesn't happen often, so don't start an urban myth that all kangaroos beat everyone up.!!!!!!!!!<BR>As for putting my pants on, it is SOOOOOOOOOO<BR>hard doing it upside down................ Have you ever tried it? Before you laugh at all us backward aussie folk down here, try and live like we have to..........Makes swinging from the chandeliers fun tho!!!!!!!!<P>[censored] - yes, I really am a blonde flight attendant, and a natural blonde too. I wish you hadn't told me about having to study for a blood test. I have to do my St. John's Ambulance first aid course next week, and blood is part of the course. Now I'm stressing............... another exam.......<BR>LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL<BR>most of your jokes are funny, they give me quite a giggle. BUT, I do not think there would be many blonde/flight attendant jokes that I have not heard. The pilots take great delight in sharing all that they have heard.<BR>Maybe we could make it a goal to find one that I haven't heard. That would be novel!!!!<P>thanks again for springing for the airfares. What a guy.....<P>hugs to everyone<P>Bonnet/Jo

OMG!!! I made it back!!! My server was down last night and most of the day today. Talk about major withdrawals!!!! <P>Murph, How ya been???? <P>Jo, Glad to see you're hanging out here!!!<P>cinderella, What's up??<P>Butterfly, I posted to notagain. Thanks for helping me find her!<P>[censored], 60 Minutes?? What's that?? LOL LOL<P>Sheryl, You just can't stay away, can ya??<P><BR>Jodie

JODIE!<BR> I thought we were going to have to send out Search and Rescue! How have you been?<BR> Yeah,if my PC goes down,I'm going to be in bad shape.What did we do before computers?<P> ~~Murph

Murph!!!!<P>I felt so lost without my internet. I just sat here trying over and over to get connected!!! (I was actually getting a little mad by noon today! LOL)<P>I've been good. Work is busy this week. We're hiring new people and I had to help with training today. I also have to help with it Thursday and Friday. It means some overtime! <P>People wrote letters with pens and spent lots of money on phone bills in the old days! LOL<P>Jodie (I'm not lost anymore!!LOL)

Jodie,<BR> Hiring new people?Does this mean a promotion for you?<BR> Well,we wouldn't have great support boards like this without the internet.We'd just be venting,and whining to our families instead!Never dreamed I be conversing(and whining)to a Jodie Foster lookalike in W VA! <BR> Overtime is good.I might get some myself,we're starting to get a little behind at the Lazy B.<P> ~~Murph