Hi,<p>Q: Should my spouse and I go on a planned trip next month, even though we recently discovered some problems within our marriage?<p>Details: My wife, after recently seeming to have a mood change, confessed that she has never felt satisfied over our sex life (married 13 years w/2 kids). She thought this "is wrong, felt bad that she doesn’t be aroused by me, that I deserved someone who was attracted to me, etc. I too admitted that it has been obvious that we have never had it that great (I usually felt it is all MY problem). I felt it was just to be, and in the past she had said it was not a big deal. She had an affair early on in our marriage (which she claimed had little to do with sex), and we brought some of this out in the open, but I knew it was never resolved. I assured her that it was OK, and that we can work on things. <p>After her first session with a counselor (my wife doesn’t want me there ‘cause it’s for HER now), the counselor recommended anti-depressant medication. This came as a shock at first, but I see it being necessary and not that uncommon based on this & other web sites. Anyway, I see a long road ahead to getting things "fixed" - especially if we attempt to make our marriage great as suggested in this web site (where was this 10 years ago when I needed it???). I think (know?) sex is the tip of the iceberg for our problems. All the shortcomings I see in her have just become more difficult to ignore. I’ve been suggesting we work on the questionaires in this web site, but have backed off until she is ready.<p>Anyway, within a month, we are returning to a tropical resort for a week w/out our kids. We really enjoyed ourselves there last year (I think I speak for both of us?), and personally I had a blast sex-wise - no schedules, no interruptions, trying out a few different positions, etc. In other words, one of the highlights of the trip for me was the sex. Now we are going back and I feel as if it will kill me to not have sexual contact with her, yet I cannot imagine it any other way based her recent revelation. I have asked her a few times if we should cancel the trip, and she says no.<p>I keep thinking the timing is bad to be going off like this. Am I selfish to feel we should postpone this trip because sex will be difficult or not at all? Beyond that, I tend to think things will be far from enjoyable regardless of what we do - kind of as if we are going through the motions but do not have our heart into having fun. We both seem withdrawn right now, and I think it would be miserable trying to act as if we are not (some friends will be along this time). Or it this what we need...to get away from work, kids, and other day to day things?<p>

STOP THINKING THROUGH YOUR PENIS!<br>I'm sorry to be so blunt, but you really need to focus on how to love one another again. If you feel that "deep"love, it will flow through your body into hers like no other. You will also have the most complete feeling you've ever had. <br>I would work on the love and sharing on your trip and "IF" you have sex, dont, MAKE LOVE to her!!!

Go and enjoy your self ya never know what will happen unless you try. It cant hurt!<br> Ken

Lonepeak<p>I say go and enjoy. It will probably help you more than you know. I don't think it could hurt things. <p>Steph

Lonepeak,<p>Go! You'd be a fool to postpone on account of what you described. Actually I know how you feel, but I still say go. You already said you guys had a great time there before. That means that, regardless of recent revelations, you are both back at a place that is charged with good vibes. What better place holds the possibility of sparking a stalled sexual engine.