My husband is works nights so he comes home and sleeps all day till about an hour or two before he goes to work! Well I work to but I work days and I would love to be able to come home and go to sleep and not worry about the kids or the house. There are some days I dont get to sleep at all because of the baby adn the other kids as well. But that doesnt seem to matter to him all I get is well you dont work 10 to 11 hours at night like I do! Well I work 8 hours a day then come home cook clean and take care of kids why is it when men work they always seem to think their jobs are harder than a womens? I feel like this will beceom a big issue with us its like IM the mom and im supposed to be there for the kids and do all these things and maybe Iam but a little concideration would be nice. The baby has a baby sitter while he sleeps during the day but when i get off my job doenst never end . I wokr very hard and I deserve a break as well. I think he should at least think about all that I do instead of thinking about how I could get someon els to come in and take care of the kids so I can rest. I think he should pitch in as well adn help with the kids and all. Please help im so tired and frustrated I feel as though im going to ose it and soon!<br>

Hi Miya,<br>That sounds like a very frustrating situation. If your husband is working 10-11 hours a night, though, he probably does need to sleep all day. Daytime sleep is often poor quality sleep, because most people are internally programed to sleep at night. To make up for low quality of sleep, more sleep is necessary. <p>Do you really need two incomes? Is it possible for one of you to cut back? This sounds like a crummy way to live, for both of you.<p>If you both must work, then you need help. You definitely can't do it all. Your husband has suggested hiring some help, you should take him up on it.

Parizade,<br> yes he has said we could get help but we really cant afford it unless he gets his mom to move back in and I cant handle that she tries to rule the house and we just got her out on her own. And yes we both must work in order to make ends meet with three kids we have no choice. And we cant cut back our hours because we need the money alll IM aking is for a little help from him but when I work as well i need my rest just the same as he does this is a two way street here just because im the mom doesnt mean I dont deserve a break either. Like last night my baby was up all night long and now I have to go to wrok this morning and when I come home I cant go to bed will have to cook and take care of my children. I guess thats what life is about for women and who said men waorked harder than we do anyway? Ill never belive it I think us women have to work a lot harder in life!!!!!! But thanks for your commments

Just a note of encouragement, the babies grow up and become just a little bit easier to handle. (for one thing, they sleep all night) Keep up the great work and tell your husband to get with the program here and help out some. I too used to work second shift and the sleep you get in the daytime is NOT the right kind of sleep. But this is no excuse to slack off and not help around the house.

You say that you already have a daytime sitter for the baby, I'm assuming that you take the baby to the sitter. Can you hire a sitter to come to your house instead? Make it clear that the position includes light housework, maybe even have the sitter/housekeeper prepare dinner so you don't have to cook when you get home.<p>Somethings got to give somewhere, or you are going to get too burned out to do anything.

I know exactly how you feel. I am like you with 3 children (ages 15, 11, and 3). The older boys are in sports from aftershool until around 8:45 at nite so I am hauling them around with a baby too. My husband works from about 10 am till about 9:00 at nite. When he gets home, he expects supper on the couch while he watches wrestling (I could bust that TV) and then its off to the shower and bed for him. HOW NICE!! I work from 7:30 am-4:30 pm, pick up the baby from daycare, pick my oldest up from high school practice (football) and go drop my middle son off to rec center for football. Come home, cook, clean, bathe the baby, feed him, run back out the door to pick up kids. I can't sit down till WELL after 10 pm. (Oh, after I clean the dishes HE messes up from eating his meal). It does drive you nuts and I have found no solution. I don't even waste my time griping about it - I just do it and be miserable. I feel there are no options anymore and have tried everything. I can't cut back hours because if I did, he would feel like he shouldn't work so much either. Its a no win for me. I understand your feelings and sympathise. Just remember, the kids WILL grow up and they WILL know who did everything for them. Mine certainly do. THOSE rewards are the greatest for me!