Hi friends on the board,<P>Well, I have debated for a while to change my name on the board. The main reason I didn't want to change it is I lose my 620 posts under my name so far. <P>However, I am growing and learning so much through this affair discovery and divorce. I am working hard to rebuild my life and I try not to be angry or bitter.<P>I'll never forget the night I found the MB site. It had to be about 3am and I was so hurt and sad. I really didn't think life would ever be ok. I spent many restless nights reading , learning and posting.<P>I am amazed to see how many new people come here everyday. I am sad to see how many move from GQ over to Divorce boards. It is also interesting to see the different paths we all take.<P>I have found many friends, some even best friends on this board. I hope anyone who lurks and is afraid to post, takes the chance because there is really nothing but care and support here.<P>Anyway, I am no longer LONELYMOM. I look back over the past 6 months at how my life has taken many different paths. If anyone told me a few weeks before Xmas, where I'd be today, I would have NEVER believed it.<P>I am not lonely. My life is moving forward and I am happy. I have moved on in life, although, before I did that, I still was not lonely. I learned to be me and I took time to do many things I had not during my marriage.<P>This year, I think will probably be one of the biggest years I will face in life. I had such high hopes for the year 2000. Never expecting to land where I am at, but I'm here. I am doing all the things I always wanted to do. I am finally taking time to do things for me, as a person, and not always for me as a mom, and definetly, the me as a wife is over.<P>Just an update, my divorce trial starts Tuesday June 20. I am ready. Thank God, I came to this point before this day came. I am not ready for the lies , pain and hurt that is ahead, but I do accept the divorce and know it is the right thing to do in my situation. The only thing I fear, is court and facing my ex, as he is very cruel.<P>Thanks to all who have followed my posts and don't forget about me just because I have a new name <P>Prayers and hugs to all,<BR>Dana<BR><p>[This message has been edited by DanaB (edited June 08, 2000).]

Dana,<P>I'm so happy that you are no longer lonely and have been able to more forward. Hang in there 'cause it just keeps getting better! Take care.<P>Tulip

Dana,<P>Great idea! Isn't amazing how so much can happen in 6 months that will change your whole outlook on life. This year will definately be different but, I believe, great for many of us! <P>Mitzi

Dana<P>It is a great tribute to the power that this board has, both working for good of the individual and the good of a marriage.<P>I agree with you, and very glad to see you moving on with your life, looking forward, and being a shining example to us here, slightly behind where you are, but learning from you.<P>Congratulations for making it to the other side.<P>thl<BR>

Dear Dana, <BR>It is so interesting how this issue can affect our lives, in both good and bad ways.<BR>We all take different paths, react differently, and for some of us, the pain and hurt lasts longer and then others can move on sooner. I am just glad you are where you are now. <BR>The actual divorce will also hit you hard, but you have made it over so many roadbumps already, you will be ok. <BR>Love yourself, your children, and the rest will take care of itself!<BR><P>------------------<BR>Susan

I'm glad to see your name change...you've changed so much, and it always made me a little sad to see "lonelymom". <P>Hang in there--<P>Kathi

Dana,<BR>I'm glad to see you've come this far. You know, we started on MB at about the same time and have gone through some similar situations and time frames. I wish I was at the point you are, but I know with perserverence I will be. It's just not quite time for me to let go. I look forward to the day I can. I have to say I still love my H. If he dumped OW and wanted to come back I honestly don't know what I'd do. There's a part of me that thinks it's too late for us. But there's also a part of me that wants my life back. I loved my life, my family, my home, my H, everything. I would like that wonderful, secure, happy feeling again. But I doubt I will ever feel that way again. It's sad, but it's probably true. You keep moving forward. Maybe your attitude will rub off on me!<P>Best wishes to you. <P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

Dear Dana,<P>I am glad to see that your life is moving forward and you are not lonely anymore. I too have learned how to take care of myself first and then my children. I was deathly afraid of being alone and now I look forward to it and do things of me. <P>It is amazing to see how a person grows when infidelity and divorce attacks your family. I feel like I have done a ton of personal growth through this process. I am still in the middle of it, but I have learned to let go and live and it sounds like you have too. <P>No one will forget you, you have helped people more than you realize. Take care.<P>Gerri

Dana,<P>I was wondering when you were going to loose that handle...<P>My guess is you haven't been lonely for some time...<P>You managed to get the resolve it takes to weather this storm right away...So many aren't that lucky...<P>Keep putting one footy in front of the other and before you know it you'll be on the other side of this mess...<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Dana,<P>You sound so strong. I've followed your story. I Haven't always posted replies, but you were, like many others here, always in my prayers. I took a little over a month off from the boards to get myself together and it was so many new names. <P>Okay I think I'm getting of the subject just a tad. But Anyways, you know we couldn't forget you just because a change of name. You are family! Keep on keepin on and keep us updated.<P>------------------<BR><B>Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...Courage to change the things I can...And the wisdom to know the difference.</B><P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Dana,<BR>I agree you are stronger! This is a tough life lesson, one that no one should have to learn. We can take the good out of it and learn from the bad. The "good" would be what we've learned about ourselves and getting beyond something we never thought we could live through with strength gained from our inner being and from our beliefs. <P>Loneliness is simply a state of mind. You are never alone really although it feels like it at times. This board helps me realize that I am certainly not alone in this area of my life. <P>I'm glad that you aren't "Lonelymom" anymore. You are anything but!<BR>Cheers to you for putting those 600+ posts aside for a more positive DanaB!

Hey DanaB,<BR> Good for you!Seeing Lonelymom always made me sad for you.You now realise that life does go on,it just takes a while.Try to think of all the things that you have always wanted to do.Maybe make yourself a list?<BR> To heck with the 620 posts,it's only a number(just like our age!).It's great to see you moving forward. <P> --Murph<BR>

Will be thinking of you on June 20th. I will be in court the same day. 14 contempt charges filed against me ny my husband....sounds fun huh?<P><BR>Anyway...good luck to the both of us.<P>Nancy

Danab,<BR>Glad to hear you're doing well considering all that has gone on. The positive outlook can be nothing but beneficial.<P>Best of luck<P>God Bless.

DanaB- <P>Congratulations! Look how far you've come. Time and prayer work miracles. <P>I used to think God would fix things for me. Now I feel that He offers possibilities from which I can choose. If I make good choices and work hard, He keeps putting blessings out there. If I make bad choices, I take more lumps and bumps. It seem you've been doing good work. You deserve a new name. Lonelymom distessed me.<P>By the way, I chose Cinderella because I am not the person I was. No fairy godmother appeared but I have been transformed. <P>I'm glad you have also.<P>I have a different name change scenario. In my state, when you get a divorce you have two choices on your last name - keep the married name or return to your maiden name.<BR>I couldn't stand my maiden name. Since I was a teenager, I never cared for it. My x will remarry this fall. I want to give his name back. <P>The divorce took place 18 mon. ago. I have talked to my children and they are sort of cool with this idea. I think I've settled on "Thomas" which is my son's, father's, and grandfather's middle name. The other choice is "Bond" which is my mother's maiden name. But can you imagine how difficult it might be to go through life as Jane (preferably Jane-Elise)Bond? Is it my imagination or is that too much like James Bond?<P>So what is the opinion of all you adults? Am I crazy to change my name at this stage? And which do you vote for?

Cinderella,<P>I debated about whether to change my name also. I have decided to go back to my maiden name after much thought and consideration. I talked to my kids about it and they didn't mind. Like my 9 year old said...it's just a name Mom, you're still the same person. Out of the mouths of babes. I just no longer wanted my stbx's name. Too much baggage. And I like my maiden name better anyway. I think I would go with Thomas too. Jane Bond...that's hysterical! Nobody would ever forget you! Ultimately, it's a personal choice. A lot of people disagree with my decision, but they don't have to live my life. I think it will give me a feeling of release...you know? Everytime I sign my name it will be reaffirming the "new" me. <P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

DanaB,<P>Your post gives me encouragement that things will get better. I yearn for the day when my mind and soul are healed so that I can continue with my life.<P>I also find myself at ease and not so alone when I read and post on the MB forum. It helps so much when people care enough to post advice and share their experiences. <P>Thank you for sharing your experience. <P>Andrew

Guy-next-door - <P>Yeah, cruddy things do happen and the sun continues to come up. At some point, things do get better and your heart recovers and you feel like living again.<P>Sometimes it seems like it will never happen. They say time is a great healer. It truly has been for me. I still have days when I feel overwhelmed by all the responsibility that was dumped on me but I refuse to buckle. Call someone who understands and rant and rave for a while then get up and deal with the mess. <P>But I have to say, my life is much more peaceful than when my x was at home. There's just more peace in my heart. <P>And that's a good thing.

I like the new name too.<P>As you know, I just recently joined this site and when I first read your posts I thought the name didn't really fit where you were.<P>Thanks for all your replys to my posts. As you know, I have found them very helpful.<P>Take care!

Dana - Best Wishes for continued strength. I hope the hearing goes well. Even though it will be painful, I know your strength will see you through this. Keep moving forward - you're doing great!!!