Keridwen7<P>If i remember correctly, your H was in the navy. I was also working on ships, and the time away can be very difficult. I have had friends, 4 to be precise, who came home off the ships and the marriages had disappeared.<P>The first worked for me. He went home and there was NOTHING in the house but a clock on the mantel. Everything was GONE. Came back totally drunk, and for four straight hours, I had to listen to a drunk talk about the clock.<P>The second went home and only a bed remained, no car, nothing else. He was the Chief Officer on the Exxon Valdez very soon after the accident in Alaska.<P>My college roommate came home to find another man in his place, sleeping in his bed, taking care of the kids, and he had a criminal record as he just got out of prison.<P>My other college friend went onto submarines, and came home, and all his money had gone into his wife's cocaine habit.<P>That life style is very difficult, but it doesn't help that your S couldn't handle it either. Please take care of yourself, and in doing so, look around to appreciate life.<P>And keep an open mind to all new possibilities in life, traveling with the kids, finding a new job, furthering your education, all these activities will help you <BR>recover the real you that has been hurt and withdrawn, so that you may return to life<BR>with an open mind.<P>thl

thl,<BR>thanks. You know, the Navy was very difficult for us, but we made it through. Maybe our marriage lasted longer because of it...who knows? I wish we could go back before his affair and repair the damage to our marriage, but we can't. It's really so sad. The military is rough on marriages. I too have heard the horror stories. I never did that. But I know some who did. My H's break with reality came 6 years AFTER he got out of the Navy...but he was away from home for 4 months...and not just with a bunch of guys on a boat. There were women where he was and he wasn't strong enough to resist. <P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com