<BR>What a piece of work H is!! He never ceases to amaze me!!<P>Ok, A** called this morning, waking me up for starters! He owes me close to $2000 and thinks that I should just let that go so I can keep the house. I don't think he even comprehends that I will be paying on the house for the next 20 years. Plus the only things he wants to be responsible for is the Sears credit card bill. <P>Somehow he thinks he can run out on me, only see his kids once a month, and not have to pay for anything but Sears and child support. Am I the only one who sees something wrong here?!! So, he basically threatens that if I don't agree to some of this, then the house will be sold. I think I need to call my lawyer! <P>He's trying to give me some sob story about being laid off. Poor baby! He was laid off for about 1/2 of the 10 1/2 years we were together. I pretty much laughed at him. <P>Still in the fog???!!! Now, he wants to know if I can take the thing out about the boys not being around the OW. NOT!! I asked him if he thought their lifestyle was suitable for his children to be around. Guess what his reply was? Silence. I'll take that as a "NO!"<P>He told me that he wanted it over in a decent way instead of airing "OUR" dirty laundry in court. I politely reminded him that I don't have any dirty laundry. He just doesn't want his lifestyle to be public record. A little chicken, maybe??<P>What really amazes me is that I married him and stayed married to him for so long!!<P>Mitzi

Yeah, well I got financially screwed. I think it happens to most women. Maybe you'll be luckier.<P>In order to get the house, I had to pay of $27,000 in bills and give him $15,000 to get him to sign a quit-claim deed on the house. It didn't matter that I had been at home for 8 years raising his children. Oh, well. It's only money and, in exchange for $42K, I got my life back. <P>I heard the best acronym for my life - SITCOM. Single income, two childre, oppressive mortgage. That's about right. I don't like how easily he got off but I don't supposed anyone is ever happy with their settlement. Stick to your guns - maybe you'll be luckier that I was.<P>Go,girl,go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cinderella,<P>The thing is...he messed up with his W4 forms for the past 2 years so that we owe state taxes. He wants me to pay all of that. It was ordered that he pay half of all marital debt and now he's trying to get me to change my mind about that. I think I was doing a good job by offering to take on a house payment for the next 20 years and he can keep the sears bill and the tax bill, which isn't that much since I've already paid half of it. Plus just pay me back what he owes me on the property taxes and back house payments. He has the potential to earn 3x what I do, but chooses not to. <P>I'm calling my lawyer right now! <P>Thanks for the warning!<BR>Mitzi

Your H sounds like mine. I'd definitely call a lawyer before things get too hot. A little knowledge can go a long way in protecting yourself.<P>My H complains about all he is giving, but he doesn't see the financial burden I've taken. I willingly took bills we both created together in an attempt to be fair. I GAVE him all of our retirement savings because I didn't think it was worth arguing over. I gave him all our toys because they never meant all that much to me anyway. He has all the business equipment, so he not only retains his ability to make a living, but he doesn't have to step back a single step in doing so. And he has the nerve to ask me why he has to pay for my car which was a GIFT from him! He has the nerve to ask me when I am moving out of HIS house. Ha! <P>My H also wants to keep this out of the courts and out of public record. The thing about that is, he will probably get his way because cell phone records, his living with his slut, confession, and a paternity suit are not considered PROOF of adultery in the eyes of the law. I have to have a living breathing witness and nobody wants to get involved.<P>Yes, get a lawyer. You can't get justice, but maybe you can keep some of your money for the kids.<BR>[/B][/QUOTE]

Popeye,<P>I have had a lawyer since March when I filed for divorce. I did talk to him about this and he said for me to sit down and figure up what I thought would be fair. Talk to H about it and explain to him that if he can't agree on it, he'll just have to pay more in attorney's fees. I'm trying to think of what would be fair to both of us. (although I don't think me having to pay anything would be fair! LOL). But I do realize that I helped make the bills and I should be responsible for some of them too. I just don't think I should be stuck with all of them PLUS the house payment. <P>I guess I should be brainstorming! LOL<P>Mitzi

Mitzi,<P>Boy, have I heard all of that crap too! Isn't it amazing what a good lawyer can do? Anytime stbx starts threatening crap I just inform my attorney and the next time stbx calls, he is just as sweet as syrup! The last threat I heard was if I didn't let him take the kids out of state, I would be back in court because I have no right to do that. Well, stbx is the one who signed the papers stating that if we can't agree on something with the children, I get the final decision. Now, he just whines that the kids' mom won't allow this and won't allow that. Oh well, poor baby! <P>Just keep your chin up. It sounds like you have a great case against your stbx. Mine basically got nothing. I got the house, car, he pays medical insurance, and half of everything not covered by insurance, half of children's counseling bills, orthodontic bills, eye glasses, some back child support and of course...child support. I kept my own credit card bills and he kept his. His are a lot higher than mine All he received in the divorce was a beat up sofa and a desk that I didn't want. Gosh, I'm starting to feel like a real b!tch! Oh well, I guess it doesn't pay to betray! Take care!<P>Tulip

<B>(((((Mitzi)))))</B><P>It is amazing that I don't have much to say,(that is a first for me)LOL.....but wanted you to know that I thinking of you.<P>You go girl.........<P><B>Go Mitzi,Go Mitzi,Go Mitzi</B> <P>Hang in there!<P>Gina <P>

Mitzi,<P>Good luck to you...I hope that you don't get stuck with all of "his" bills. Hasn't he gotten away with enough.<P>Hope you have better luck than me.<P>Nancy

Mitzi,<P>Call your lawyer....<P>Go for everything you are eligable for!!!!!<P>Alamony...<BR>Child support...<BR>Anything the law in your state allows...<P>F-him and his dirty laundry...<BR>If he didn't want it aired in court he shouldn't have made the choices he made...<BR>This is part of the betrayers Tab and it is time to pay up...<P>Just my twenty bucks worth.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Mitzi,<BR> We're filing uncontested,which saves a ton of lawyer's fees.Thank God for that.<BR> But reading your story reminds me of all the crap my sis went through on her divorce.Two lawyers,two kids,fighting over the house,bills,child support,you name it.<BR> Just make sure it's fair to you.You only got one shot at this thing.Don't give in just because you want it over with.You'll regret it later like my sister did.<BR> Do you have alimony in your state?In WA,we have whats called "maintainence"which is given along with child support to cover house payments,utilities,etc.<BR> I hope you're able to keep the house if that is what you really want.Don't give up.<P> --Murph

Hey Mitzi,<P>I know how difficult this process is. It pays to be patient and don't agree to anything without alot of thought on it. But it is best to figure out what you can afford and what you can't and decide based on that. <P>Murph,<P>Yeah maintenance in WA is a godsend, but it really sucks when you are constantly being told that "Im gonna have to work my [censored] of for the next 3 years so you can get your stinkin maintenance and child support". Or another one that he loves to yell in my ear is that he is happier than he has ever been in his life because Im out of it. Or you walked away with half my net worth so I don't want to hear you complaining when I don't show up to soccer games or school plays. I wonder, what do those two events have to do with each other. I am mad about him not attending our childrens events and he is talking money. This whole process is rotten to the core. I am so tired of being emeshed in it for two years.

Limerick,<BR> I could say if I knew all this was going to happen,I'd never of gotten married.But I really can't,because we did have a lot of good years together.<BR> That's terrible about your H yelling about being happier without you.My stbx told me on the phone,in her sweetest voice,"I'm trying to forget the past,and think of the future."(with her trophy-boyfriend).That made me feel about as worthless as a pile of something that I pick up in the backyard.<BR> Hang in there.<BR> --Murph<BR>

Murph,<P>I did have good years with this man, he called and apologized for being a jerk. I have to give him that. We didn't fight much in the marriage, we are getting pretty good at it now. Sometime he seems like a different person than the one I lived with for 16 years. He calls his gal a trophy piece all the time. That is great but every who sees her says, "she is so fat".. My daughter says she loves snickers and is eating them all the time!!! HaHa<P>Later

Gerri,<BR> Did your daughter just give you loaded information or not? Just start sending those big warehouse boxes of Snickers to her,addressed"from a friend".Let's see how big she can really get! <P> --Murph

Murphy,<P>LOL Death by Snickers!!! I am thinking it might not matter, she was into S$M and that is what he likes! Imagine that Chubby chick in black leather, ooh gross! Ha ha you got me laughing thats for sure. Doesn't this rain suck?<P>Ger

Gerri,<BR> You are up early.I'm getting ready for work.Yeah,it sure is yucky out.No fair,I wish I could stay home.Don't think I want to break anything to do it,though.<BR> S&M?? Is that Snickers and Mars bars?<BR> Have a good day.<P> --Murph

Ok, I'm ready to deal with him. I know I won't come out too far ahead but I don't want to drag this out. I want this over with. He owes me almost $2000. I'm going to ask him to sign over our income tax return and take over enough bills to make up the difference. That will release me from a big chunk of our bills. He'll then have them. <P>I just want out of this marriage. I'm hoping it can be done by the end of the month. I'm looking forward to moving on with my life. I want complete happiness without this hanging over me.<P>Wish me luck,<BR>Mitzi