Bob,<P>I am a competitive athelete, always have been , always will be. Multi sports, etc. member national college title championship, high school championship, etc.<BR>Well, my W is similar to your XW. <P>Now I have played soccer since age 13, and I referee, coach, and administrate it. My wife has coached it with me, but never played it, and therefore she did it for her job, but I helped her out with the technical stuff, because I liked the sport and I liked her.<P>Well, I just signed up for a local coed soccer program, and holy [censored] batman, there are some phenominal Title IX female soccer players out there! There was one woman of mixed oriental descent that was phenominal, and she didn't wear shinguards (mandatory protection) because she was so confident in her abilities. I am pretty tough on defense, but I couldn't get the ball away from her when she had it, only if I could beat her to the ball, which was only once.<P>Bob, they are out there. But for us, Title IX was too late, and our timing didn't foster their desires.<P>BUT <BR>they do exist, and I am so happy I found a place where they grow them <P>Keep looking pal, and don't settle on the first one you find, make sure you do a thorough job finding your next coach.<P>thl

thl,<P>I really enjoy sports although I'm no where near the athlete you are, but I do enjoy competing. I ran track in HS and for 2 yrs in college. Played judo for about 10 and have been playing softball for 24 yrs. My goal now is to play with my son. He is 9 so I have a ways to go yet.<P> I guess what I would look for in a woman now,besides the obvious quality of honesty, integrity, is someone who can appreciate sports and would watch them with me once in a while. I don't ahve to watch every game but I do like seeing the big ones.<P>I guess time will tell. I am in no hurry to get married. I'm just starting to see there are a lot of choices out there.<P>Hey, we are flying out of Columbus tomorrow and will return next Tues. So if you are around the airport stop on by.<P>Bob<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger

Bob,<P>wasn't suggesting getting married, one doesn't have to, but having a great relationship built around your favorite<BR>recreational activity certainly isn't far from the top.<P>hey, keep your eye on the ball, and one of these days, you'll hit a home run.<P>thl

Hi guys,<BR>I'm very active physically (run, lift weights, bike, hike, etc.) and like to watch sports occasionally. Very occasionally (like the Superbowl, the SEC championships, Olympics). My problem is that alot of the guys I know who like to WATCH sports don't like to DO sports. Plus, they are spending so much time watching sports that they usually aren't interested in learning about things that *I* like to do besides sports (sailing, gardening, home improvement). It just feels so one-sided. So, when I meet a guy who likes to watch sports, I usually have an image of a guy propped in front of the TV on a nice day instead of outside enjoying it. Also, even if a woman is into watching sports sometimes, she is usually left out of the conversation when a group of guys get together. Mostly, she's around to fetch the beer and make the snacks. Another unpleasant thing I associate with guys who watch alot of sports. It is something they do that tends to exclude women. Food for thought, and perhaps some insight into why many women don't like guys who watch alot of sports. <P>Just to be fair, I can tell you that there aren't alot of men out there who are truly physically active. There certainly aren't alot of women who can do 30-60 miles on a bike either. The guy I dated for a month or two after my divorce had a tent and sleeping bag, but wouldn't go camping with me. Bought a nice bicycle, but wouldn't go riding with me. He did go running with me for awhile. I'll give him credit for that. Most evenings he'd be watching some kind of sports though. Either basketball, football, or baseball, depending on the season. Yawn.

Ah, TS, I look at your sports, at least what you say you liked, and they are not TEAM sports. (run, lift weights, bike, hike, etc.)<BR>These are very individual sports to do.<P>Yes, alot of my friends who I used to compete with in HS and College, no longer compete. A couple do, but if you played Baseball, football, lacrosse, rugby, crew, it is much harder to find teams O40 to compete.<P>By the way, you sound jaded about being in the company of men watching sports. If you ASSUME they expect you to be a waitress, then you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. If I were you, I wouldn't lift a finger as a waitress, and I would be light heartedly sarcstic if I was asked. BTW, I do this to someone at work who thinks he is god's gift to accounting, and I hardly ever hear anything from him, as I make him look lazy if he asks me stupid questions.<P>Sailing, I only compete in the sailing world, having qualified for a world championships when I was in college. Home improvement, I need to own a house year to do it, but i have done all kids of stuff to houses. New roof, new deck, new linoleum floors, new tile floors, new plumbing, new electrical, new paint to name the biggest. Gardening, well, usually my vision is so grand I never get very far, plus until recently I have not had enough money to be grand. I would bet there are a few men out there like myself who are what you hope to find, but if you look for that and a particular physical size, well, it does narrow the field down quite a bit.<P>At matchmaker.com, my best match to 2-3 dozen questions is 53%. It does take along time to find someone quite specific, match the physical traits, and then hope he/she has the right personality to fit you yours.<P>Best of luck.<P>thl

RWD:<P>I see you jumped out of my thread to talk about sports in a different arena. I must admit I started laughing when I read this post and there was my friend, The Student again. Are you both everywhere?<P>I thought you might find it interesting that the guy I am interested in loves tennis. I almost died. Actually, I plan on playing some tennis with him. I guess sports isn't that bad. I'm pretty athletic myself. Just not obsessive like my x. I have played on ALTA tennis teams lately and I run and lift weights. I am training for the Peachtree Road race now but have been set back a little due to being thrown from a wave runner over Memorial Weekend. Now, I am training with a really bruised leg and foot. No pain, no gain.<P>The only thing I will say to you guys about sports, is to just keep it balanced with the rest of your life. And, RWD, I know you do. My x just spent every waking moment and hour, talking about tennis, playing tennis, reading about tennis, etc. He even named our dog Nike and has a Nike tatoo. SO, he was pretty obsessed with sports.<P>See ya on the courts.<P>

711 & TS<P>To balance things out I do like to garden. My butterfly garden is a work in progress. I'm trying to get flowers the whole season and it is difficult with perennials. I also have a small water garden with two goldfish and also have the best lawn in the neighborhood.<P>The gardening has taken somewhat of a hit iver the past year as I don't have the free time. I still haven't got my waterfall running. Its leaking and is probably an all day job.<P>As for home improvements, I'm improvement challenged. I can paint and wallpaper with the best of them, but that where I draw the line. In our first house, I did refinish the cabinets and put up a stucco ceiling, but let my wallet take care of finishing the basement.<P>I guess I would appreciate shopping with a woman more if she would take part in an activity I enjoy.<P>My x quit coming to my softball games when our d was borne 12 yrs ago. I think she brought them to games only a few times since then. We used to run together bc, before kids, but quit for some unknown reason.<P>Swimming was with the kids. I usually had them and she would sit out till adult time, and then would get in and swim laps.<P>As for shopping with her, it was very difficult. She is very particular and I would get bored and I guess I let it showed. When ever we would shop for me, she would always wonder away and look at stuff for herself.<P>I wish we could have seen how this was driving a wedge between us. Talk about 20/20 hindsight.

whenIfindthetime,<P>I stopped doing the waitress thing along time ago. It has gotten alot better in the past 5-10 years or so. Still, there are plenty of times I feel left out, and if there is even (1) guy there who thinks I'm fetching anything, it just brings back bad memories. My ex was pretty ideal for me in that respect. He didn't watch alot of sports, and we did alot of individual type active things together. <P>You're right. I do prefer individual sports. I'm not "looking" anyway, but thanks for the encouragement. <P>711,<BR>I agree with you. There has to be balance. My first husband surfed every opportunity he had. After that, I swore I'd never be a "widow". That applies to any sport,sport-watching, work, you name it. I also swore I wouldn't hook up with anyone that engaged in an activity where I could not actively participate. Sitting on the sidelines watching my man play a team sport that is not co-ed every week is not my idea of fun. <P>Good luck on the Peachtree (I live in Hot-lanta too). I missed the entry deadline this year. Last year I lucked out and just happened to see the application in the AJC when I went into the QT to get a soda. I am recovering from plantar fascitis, so I have to take it slow too <P>RWD,<BR>What you mentioned is the key. The give and take. You'd feel better shopping if you knew she was making an effort to do something you enjoyed. I think that is another reason why so many women have problems with guys who watch sports alot. It is not something that lends itself to female participation, and alot of the time, the guy doesn't go out of his way to spend time doing something she'll enjoy. <P>Ah, a butterfly garden. What part of the country do you live in? I volunteer at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens and have access to alot of plant info, in case you get stumped.

TS,<BR>Thanks for the info. I live outside Akron, Oh. Any info would be appreciated.<P>Its funny looking back over the years at how x and I didn't have give and take or at least lost it over the years. She sang in the church choir and occaisonly she would sing either solos or in a small group in the early service and I almost never went because it was too hard getting the kids up, getting everybody ready..........,etc. I guess we sometimes used the kids as a crutch nnot to do an activity with the other that we didn't care for.

Bob, <P>man, you may have hit the nail on the head when you dais that we sometimes use the kids to avoid doing things with each other. I beleive may x and I did that as well. There were just some things that I did not enjoy doing with my x, and he the same. How nice it would have been to have talked abou tit and compromised..<BR>what is the saying, hind sight is better???<P>------------------<BR>Susan

Kids, dogs, work, bad weather, headaches, just about anything could be used as an excuse to avoid an activity. Our marriage was the best when we were "joined at the hip". For some reason, alot of people think that is unhealthy so friends/family/society in general promotes the idea of doing things without the other spouse. <P>I have to say, one of the biggies for me with any kind of friendship/relationship is an eagerness to learn new things. I'm very happy to learn a new activity with anyone I meet, if they are willing to teach me. However, if it looks like I'm just learning all "their" stuff, and they can't seem to make an effort to learn anything I have to teach, then again--it feels very lopsided and unfair. <P>The reason why single-activity people tend to bug me is because they usually aren't open to learning other things. They have that one thing they do, and that is it. I suppose that is ok if you also enjoy that "one thing". Problem is, sometimes that activity changes, and then there is no flexibility built into the relationship and it falls apart.<P>RWD, <P>Lets see. Ohio. Zone 5 I'm guessing? My relatives live in Iowa, which is Zone 4. It would be tough to get perennials going. I've lived in Zone 8/9 all my life, and have some experience with Zone 6/7 plants. I'll try to think of some stuff for you. A couple of things come to mind, but I'll have to check the cold-hardiness. Ya got Peonies? They are about as far south as they can get down here in Atlanta, so I know they would do well there. Roses too. They have a bunch of older varieties that don't require alot of care. Coneflowers (Black-eyed Susans and Echinacea) are native to the Midwest and butterflys love them. Summer time is great for Zinnias, but alas not perennial. Pentas too, another annual where you are. Both need full sun. We have something here we call Butterfly Bush (Buddlea sp?) which grows pretty big in the summertime, but needs to be cut back every winter. Not sure if it is cold hardy enough for you. Well, that's what is at the top of my brain. If I think of anything else, I'll let you know.

OK guys, I'm certainly no health nut, but I love to play softball and I love walking and hiking. I am a HUGE Braves fan!!!! (Love Gallaraga & Chipper Jones!). I watch tennis quite a bit. I can watch football but I can leave it. Always watch the Olympics. Wanted to go when they were in Atlanta but couldn't afford it. My kids are into softball and baseball. Not all women dislike sports. Like I said, I'm no superwoman, but I do enjoy sports.<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com