Jim:<P>I don't know if we have ever replied one to another, but I wanted to drop in for a few lines.<P>I see your name/posts all over MB and your welcome letter to all newcomers.<P>After reading your reply to Nellie, I wanted to write you.<P>It seems, in the midst of your own pain, you have continued to reach out to others. This is very noble and speaks highly of the type of person you must be.<P>It breaks my heart to see your attempts to reconcile with your wife and her consistent resistance.<P>I think it is a great sign that she is fighting with OM and perhaps she can be like the woman in the Book of Hosea (Gomer, who was Hosea's unfaithful wife) who finally said:<P>"I will return to my first husband, for then it was better for me than it is now"<P>I will hate to see your divorce go through, but let me assure you there is "life after divorce". I was divorced in March after a 4+ year separation and numerous attempts to reconcile with my wife.<P>We were married 33-1/2 years at the time of our divorce...4 beautiful kids and we are both 'ministers'.<P>To make a long story short....God brought me someone wonderful last year and we began dating in December. We are to be married September 8th.<P>During my 4 year separation from my wife and all the emotional anguish I went through, the thing that got me through was...when I felt I was 'bleeding to death' inwardly and I desperately needed someone to put a tourniquet on me to stop the bleeding...I would find somebody else who was bleeding to death and put a tourniquet on them.<P>This is somewhat Scriptural in that "After Job prayed for his friends, the Lord turned his captivity".<P>This sounds sort of like what you have been doing.<P>I just wanted to encourage you Jim, my friend that God is not unrighteous to forget your labor of love and He that sees in secret will reward you openly!<P>God will bring you through this season of your life and you will be a better man for it regardless of the outcome!<P>[censored] from Texas<BR>

[censored] from Texas...<P>Your words are so kind... <P>You are a wonderful witness!<P>My attempts to reconcile will continue...<BR>...and I do believe so even after the divorce.<P>Her marrying the OM will end it all...<BR>...but I'm positioning myself for that too... <P>I guess I follow my own advice on this...<BR>...<B>keeping expectations low</B>!<P>My mother was over the other day...<BR>...heaven knows I love her(my mom)...<BR>...but already she's lining up women for me to date... <BR>...a very religious woman(my mom)... but misses the boat on this one!<P>If my marriage is truely to be over...<BR>...after a period of time (few more years I'd say)... I would consider marriage again...<BR>...but like a few don't like to hear... "my kids are coming first"!<P>I'm glad you found someone deserving of your love again. This must be a very sepcial person... and finding you is making her very lucky! I'll be thinking of you on the 8th... 3 days after my birthday.<P>I turn to the Lord everyday...<BR>...in his footsteps I will follow.<BR>I know God is never unjust/unrighteous...<BR>...and what is lost is not due to Him...<BR>...only what I get... is from Him.<P>My time on the MB forum won't go on forever...<BR>...but while I can...<BR>...I give... to help me too... grow.<P>Thanks again... <P>Jim/<B>N</B>ew <B>S</B>un <B>R</B>ising

Jim:<P>Thanks for the response! Please do not take this wrong what I am about to share with you, for I am only speaking from 'my' experience.<P>Like you, I held out for my marriage to be reconciled...even after divorce. I said I would never re-marry, that I would wear my wedding ring til death if necessary and remained faithful to my wife.<P>This was my first marriage and my wife the only one I had ever had sex with.<P>When people suggested I might find someone else, I would get furious! No....I was in this for the duration!<P>I stood for restoration in the face of total hopelessness...still believing the Lord's perfect will was for restoration. <P>However in December, I can't explain what happened, but one day as I pulled into the supermarket...it were as though I sensed the Lord releasing me from my marriage which I never thought would be possible.<P>As if He said to me "Son, I can not stand to see you hurt any longer....I am releasing you"<P>Suddenly I no longer wanted restoration and the love for my wife left...of course she will always be the mother of our children and my sister in Christ (she doesn't even think I am a Christian!)<P>Anyway...this time last year, should you or anyone else have told me that I would be engaged to be married...I would have said you were crazy!<P>Life does take strange twists and turns..and although I am totally behind you in standing for your restoration..even after divorce (which by the way happens frequently); don't rule out the Lord bringing you someone else.<P>Again...I salute your efforts to support others here on MB as you have faced your own battle/pain.<P>[censored] from Texas

[censored] from Texas,<P>I don't take it the wrong way at all!<P>In fact... one of the very first replies I made on this forum was to someone asking about Catholic annulments (I BTW am Catholic.)<P>Even back then, I realized that relationships last forever. Even marriages that one may think as perfect.<P>We are still, in our thought processes, human... we make mistakes... we are tempted to do evil in different ways at different times... there may have been severe defects (spiritual, moral, maturity based) that could make a marriage "null"... even if we thought for years... "it was perfect".<P>We live in an imperfect world...<BR>...with imperfect relationships...<P>...and our foremost struggle will be to build a relationship with God first. (whoever/whatever you feel "God" is)<P>Without such a solid relationship...<BR>...few marriages can stand the test of time.<P>I'm patient... <B>very</B> patient...<P>This time is not lost time to me...<BR>...by any measure!<P>I'm keeping my eyes opened... ears alert...<BR>...for whatever God will bring me<BR>...for wherever God's path will lead me<BR>...for whoever God will introduce me to<P>...I think that's what many on the forum speak of as "leaving it to God"...<P>[censored] in Texas...<BR>...once again... congratulations on your engagement... <P>Blessed have you been...<BR>...and I too... have His blessings!<P> <P>Jim

Jim:<P>I ask our Father to honor your faithfulness and diligence in standing for your marriage.<P>Just remember how loved by the Father you are and how very special to Him you are!<P>[censored] from Texas