I have been married to a cop for 5 years in Jan.; been together 7 years. Throughout our relationship he has experienced "mood swings". During these times, he says he is not happy but doesn't know why. He said he wasn't sure of his feelings for me anymore. However, then things would smoothe out after dragging the info out of him; then our relationship would be great for months...then again OVERNIGHT the bad moods would come back. After a brief separation, we got back together. When we get along it can be no better-definately soul mates. But, when he is in a "mood" he is someone I don't know--he is cold, quiet, he isolates himself, wants NO physical or emotional contact with me or the marriage. He has apologized several times for being selfish, unloving, and he said he didn't think he listened to his vows as well as he should have. The way I look at it is he wasn't happy at home before, or when he moved out, and again he says there is a void, that he doesn't feel like there is anything between us. His in love and out of love feelings shift so much and he acts like he is mad at the world. But, he says he doesn't know what he wants to do. He's never cheated, not that I know of. How can he be sooo loving and caring one day and a cold stranger the next? Have any of you ever experienced these feelings? Also, during our separation he would never leave me alone; he always called and talked about reconciliation frequently. I'm tired of our relationship supposedly being the cause of all the unhappiness. He relies alot on his feelings which seem to change by the minute--I think he also has unreal expectations of relationships, especially marriage. Your opinions are VERY MUCH appreciated.

Its a VERY tough thing to go thru as my husband is sorta going thru the same things. From reading these posts; I am about convinced that my husband might be depressed; from the signs (like your husband) it could very well be. And I guess depression doesn't get better without some help and/or medicine. I am going home tonite to try to see if my husband will consider going to a Dr. or psychiatrist to try to help US. <br>I think I'm like you - tired of dealing with it all the time and its BEGINNING to depress me and I don't choose to live that way. I have kids to raise and intend to do it happily. Hopefully you'll get some good opinions here, I have and Im going to give it a shot tonite and try to talk to him about it. I won't be surprised if he laughs in my face though! Good Luck and please try to hang in there. Maybe it is depressions and with a little help; you'll be okay!

for me my mood swings were a combination of depression and alcohol. my cure was Zoloft and AA. The problem with people is they think people that go to AA are skid row bums or drink every day or the such but its not the case. I drank between 0 and 2 times a week and never got falling down drunk and have only got sick from drinking1 tome in 41 years. Does that sound like I had a problem? Most say no but thru AA I have found out different, why when I said I'm stopping for a few only to end up spending 3 or 4 hours at a bar thinking I should go home and dident untill I had a buz. When I look back and get honest with myself there were times that I chose to drink over spending time with my family. Thats stealing from them. There were times that I was home wishing I was out with the guys, so what I do, I was depressed or in a down mood and miserible. I know all this now and now may be too late. I've been seperated for 13 months I havent had a drink since, I've returned to church and devoted myself to being the best person I can be every day. Kinda getting off on a tangent here but look at all aspects, like I said for me it was 2 things and I dident truly become the person I wanted to be untill I changed both things in my life. Its atuff road for you gal's to try to get your husband to change. It took my wife to leave before I was ready to help myself. Hope this some how helps.<br>Ken