I need help in telling my stbx NO.<P>He called from his new condo, (he bought from O/W) on Father's Day. He asked if the kids could come over. NO problem..then daughter tells me she is not going over not unless I go. I ask him if he just wants me to drop the kids off and he said I could come to. I should have said NO, NO, NO!<P>But what do I do..I go over there with the kids and her stuff is still in the house in boxes because the mover has not come yet and he is dog sitting her 2 dogs while she is in France.<P>YUK YUK YUK..........I manage to do 2 errands to get out of the condo.....<P>I could not help myself......I did something really childish......while kids was helping H bring stuff in out of his car...I spit in her boxes and in some of her shoes........I am so embrassed now.....but I do not regret it. That is how I feel out her....she is spit. <P>So anyway..I did not sleep well that night......all I could think about was sitting there with all her stuff around me. I am still mad that I was there and that H did not care or feel my pain.....I just went because it was Father's Day and daughters was not going to go with out me.<P>I can not do this again.....the kids need to go with out me.....<P>I am just venting.....<P>Also she has a Chow dog......that barked and growled at me......I told H that is why they eat chow dogs in China......(sorry to all those that have chow dogs out there)

my3kids,<P>I'm so sorry the day was bad for you!<P>BUT!! I am sitting here laughing my butt off! I would love to have seen you spitting in her things. OMG!! I think there are several wives here who would salute you. Reminds me of Keosha and the shotgun episode!! HIP HIP HOORAY!!! <P>I'm really sorry, but I thought this was funny! <P>Chin up! <BR>Mitzi <BR>

Hey hey My3Kids,<P>You can hock a lugie in my H's OW shoes any ole' day. Probably be an improvement. <P>I salute YOU!<P>Jo

Yes Mitzi it is kinda funny what I did......I do not regret it really....but I did confess to my therapist and she said that was real grown up behavior...NOT.<P>But I wish I could explain how I felt surrounded by all her stuff (though in boxes) Her personal stuff was still in a bath room upstairs....I wonder how she would feel if she knew I looked around in her stuff.....<P>It was just too surreal.....Here I am in this condo, H playing with her dogs.......I probably ate some of her food and drunk one of her sodas out of the fridge....<P>I do know this I am not going back as long as I can and not until her stuff is out.<P>My SIL says it is time we start acting like a couple who are getting a D. The spouse does not go over and spend day with other spouse like they are not getting a D. I need to draw a line some where so I do not get hurt anymore.......<P>By the way I also broke off some leaves off her plants......I could not help myself.....<BR>I am worse than my teenagers.....LOL<P>

Resilient...we must have been posting at the same time......<P>I even told my Mom what I did with my spit and she laughed too.....I figured I could have done much worse....<P>Next time I will watch Titanic and see how Jack teaches Rose how to really spit.....She will wish the movers come soon.....LOL

m3k,<BR>They are called boundries. You must set them so you can protect yourself from hurt. There is no reason for you to feel bad about not wanting to go over, I think it is realistic. Explain to your children that you are not comfortable there and you are not willing to go. If they want to, then it is fine with you, but you will not go.<P>ps,<BR>you should have done the old toothbrush and camera trick. LOL!<P>Bob