I've been pretty much just lurking lately since I started back to school. Things are going good. and I'm quite happy but very busy! I guess thats life as a single parent, huh? Anyway, just wanted to see what y'all thought about the latest stbx news.<P>Last Sunday he dropped off the kids and tried to spend some time chit-chatting with me. He apologized for making me angry, blah, blah, blah... Of course, he still denies there was ever and "affair" with the ow. I told him that it p!ssed me off when he continues to lie to me. I am not a fool and have all the evidence I need to prove that it WAS an affair. I continued to tell him that a "real" man could admit his wrongdoings instead of hiding behind a pack of lies. He said that everyone would agree that what happened between him and the ow was not an affair. I told him quite bluntly that when you give your heart to someone other than your spouse, I consider that an affair. (Not to mention, I know there was sex involved with her.) He said nothing and sort of shook his head in agreeement. He told me that he felt bad about ignoring the kids for the first 5 months he was gone. Oh, I did mention the fact the the ow's stbx told me that ow wants to get back together with him (her husband) and is always trying to sleep with him. That was basically what was said and then my stbx asked for a hug! That is the first time he has asked for anything from me in 11 months!!! <P>Now, last night I receive a call from ow's husband. He tells me that his wife called wanting to know why he was telling me that she wanted to have sex with him. He apparently told her "because I can tell anyone I want to tell." He said he received this call last Sunday. This would mean my stbx must have called ow as soon as he got home last Sunday. Well, the ow's husband was not angry at me for saying anything and said I could tell my stbx anything we talked about. <P>I do not ever call my stbx and rarely do I answer the phone when he calls. Usually if I am home I just let the kids answer the phone. After all my stbx has put the kids and I through, I could care or less whether I ever see him again. I also told him that last week. <P>My whole attitude stinks towards my stbx! I guess I've just had enough! I'm just kind of wondering what y'all think. This is the nicest he has been to me since he left no matter what my attitude is to him. Oh well, hope all this makes sense as I am trying to type while the kids are carrying on in the background Thanks everyone.<P>Tulip

Hi tulip --<P>So he is being nice? Enjoy it but don't expect too much. He is still not being honest with you (or himself!!!!!!). There may be a chance yet. How are things? Are you trying to still meet his emotional needs (like in Plan A) or have you been trying plan B (where you give him the space to miss you?) sorry I am not up on your story.<P>Again. Don't expect too much. These affairs are rollercoaster rides for EVERYONE! And all the he-said/she-said only adds to the mix. Be cautious, and relax while he is nice. It's not over yet.<P>Meanwhile, take good care of yourself and the kids. Get plenty of rest and eat good food. Take them out and all of you get some exercise everyday. Smile everytime you can. And when things are going well with you and the STBX, then smile about that. When things are going bad, there is something else to smile about.<P>I hope this is a sign of more good things to come and you and your husband can put things back together before anyone is an X!

i'll bet your stbx can tell you don't "need" him for anything, and that is making you more attractive to him. the less i call my H, the more he calls me, and the more he talks about us working it out. when i was absolutely most plan b'ing, he called me and went on and on about the erotic dreams he keeps having about me (i just sort of had not TOLD him i was in plan B), yet he's telling people that we're divorced and even that HE'S raising the kids! lol.<BR>so, the more independent you are, i think, the more attractive you are.<BR>hang in there, sounds like you are doing great,<BR>julie

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I think it is more of the same crap betrayers seem to throw our way. Who can explain why? Who can say if it is real or an attempt to accomplish something? If he is still not admitting the truth, he isn't worth your time. I found that out the hard way with my STBX. I kept believing in him and kept getting hopeful at the tiniest positive sign, but it all ended up nowhere. Sorry if I am negative. Life teaches you these things unfortunately.

NoraP,<P>Thanks for your reply. Actually, I guess I would say I'm in a sort of Plan B. I have very little contact with him except for the children. I have pretty much gone on with my life and am quite happy. I'm not sure that I ever want anything with my stbx again, but it did suprise me that he acted so nice. I doubt that he will ever be able to admit the truth. However, if he does I'm sure it will be too late for me. <P>Tulip<P>Julie,<P>I agree. My stbx calls quite regularly since I don't call him. I think after 11 months the grass isn't so green. I know he is having financial problems as he has no clue how to budget. I was responsible for paying all the bills, etc. when he was home. He used to throw it in my face that I got all his money. I guess he is getting a real good dose of reality. I am a firm believer in what comes around goes around. I just hope that he gets a good enough dose that he actually learns a lesson from all of this.<P><BR>Popeye,<P>No, you're not being negative. I do not trust my stbx at all! I never know what to expect out of him and would be quite happy if he would just leave me alone. Of course, it just suprises me that he is being nice. That could change next week though. Unless he can admit the truth, I will never work anything out with him. Actually, I'm not sure I would work anything out no matter what! Thanks for your reply!<P>Tulip