Circumstances in my marriage have brought me back from lurkdom. While I'm not ready for the finality of divorce, the state of my marriage demands that some type of separation is necessary at this time. <P>I finished graduate school and am seeking full-time employment. H recently left his job w/a 6 month severance and is seeking employment also. I NEED this separation but am unsure as to how to proceed. I've asked him to leave in the past but he won't. <P>I'm willing to go but ultimately would like that we (me and the kids)get to come back to the house and He leave. (I have no family here. We live in his hometown.)My income prior to graduate school was enough to handle the mortgage, but until I get another full-time job, of course, I can't swing it.<P>If I leave w/the kids, what is the likelihood that we can return to this house? Will I be facing any abandonment issues?<P>Also, I am considering a short-term lease until we can get back in the house. Is this feasible and what length of time on a lease should I be looking at? (W/my personal savings, I can handle 3-4 months w/no help from him)<P>Finally, should I wait until I am employed, he is employed or both?<P>Any advise would be helpful.<P>Thanks

Enlightened,<P>Your best course of action is to consult an attorney. It sounds like what you want is a legal separation. With kids, that's the best thing to do, so you can be sure they'll be provided for.<P>I'm in the process of filing for a divorce and planning to move with my kids. My concern was that if we moved (stbx is currently living with OW), I would be giving up some of my share of the assets. My attorney assured me that, under the circumstances, it would be safe to move. She said that the problem arises when a spouse leaves the home and the children, especially if they're small. In my case, my kids are older, and they're coming with me. The other difference here is that I don't want to return to this house. As far as I'm concerned, it's his.<P>However, it would be best if you found out how the law in your state stands. Most attorneys will not charge for the initial consultaion. You can find out the best way for you to handle a separation and how to protect yourself and your children.<P>I know this isn't much help, but you need to know for sure.<P>Good luck and hang in there,<P>2sad